All Good News

A man has been drinking all day at a local bar and checks his watch.

"1:30am, rats. I need to go home now or my wife's going to kill me", he thinks to himself. But as he's trying to get up, he falls awkwardly on the floor.

"I'm just way too drunk right now, I need to sober up."

So he asks the bartender for a coffee, he drinks it up and 30 minutes later he tries to stand up, but again, falling to the floor, this time, even harder.

At this point he realizes he needs to get home no matter what, so he starts crawling towards his house. After 40 minutes he gets there, lays down next to his sleeping wife and passes out.

The next morning his wife wakes him up and starts shouting at him, "So... how was last night, huh? Was it fun drinking all day?"

The man is certain his wife was asleep when he got home so he tries to play it cool, "Not really, just hanging with some coworkers... we didn't drink much... just a couple of beers."

His wife starts nodding sarcastically and responds, "The bar owner called this morning, you left your wheelchair there."