Funny Clean Jokes

A Homeless Man Knocks On A Woman's Door

October 20, 2014 / 15,043 views

A homeless man knocks on a woman's door. "Think you could spare a few bucks? Maybe some food?" The woman thinks to herself for a few seconds, then says, "You could do some handy work around here....

The Deaf Wife Problem

October 13, 2014 / 14,197 views

Fred feared his wife Rhonda wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is...

A Husband And Wife Go Golfing

October 01, 2014 / 14,407 views

A husband and wife who are avid golfers have been happily married for 30 years, and on the day of their 30th anniversary they enjoy a wonderful day together. They have a delicious breakfast in bed, then proceed to one of their favorite golf...

The Human-like Gorilla

September 23, 2014 / 17,690 views

A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable. However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they cannot afford to go a day without it....

There Was A Shipwreck, And Only Scarlett Johansson And Some Random Guy Survived On A Deserted Island

September 17, 2014 / 16,376 views

They didn't know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was. At the beginning it was hard, but as time passed, this guy learnt how to provide food and shelter, he started taking care of her, and eventually she...

A Husband And Wife Go To Counseling After 30 Years Of Marriage

September 09, 2014 / 26,832 views

After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect,...

A Blind Man Sits At A Bar, Wants To Tell A Blonde Joke

September 04, 2014 / 25,039 views

A blind man sits down at the bar and figures he'll break the ice with the bartender by asking "Wanna hear a blond joke?" In a hushed voice, a man beside him says "Before you tell that joke, you should know our...

A Woman Is Cooking Eggs In The Kitchen When Her Husband Comes Running In

August 25, 2014 / 19,620 views

A woman is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband comes running in. Immediately, he sees the eggs and gasps in horror. "Be careful! CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh, my GOSH!" The wife, startled at her...

A Fire Started In A Chemical Plant

August 18, 2014 / 21,956 views

One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and before you could snap your fingers it exploded into flames and the alarm went out to the volunteer fire departments from miles around. When the...

The 80 Year-Old Man And His Beautiful Young Bride

August 13, 2014 / 22,742 views

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup, and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got a 20 year old bride who's pregnant, and having my...

An Old Couple Is Having Trouble Remembering Things

August 06, 2014 / 28,660 views

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that...

Getting Married In Heaven

July 29, 2014 / 11,583 views

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could...

Jack Wakes Up With A Huge Hangover And A Happy Wife

July 24, 2014 / 25,647 views

A married man, Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after a night out drinking with the boys. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself...

A Man Wakes Up One Morning To Find A Gorilla On His Roof

July 14, 2014 / 18,932 views

So he looks up the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers". He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he"ll be there in 30 minutes. The gorilla remover arrives and gets out of...

An Old Jewish Man On His Death Bed Says To His Wife...

July 09, 2014 / 16,349 views

On his death bed, an old Jewish man says to his wife... "Oh, Sarah, when the shop burned down you were right beside me, no?" "Sure I was Moshe," his wife replied. "When the Nazis drove...

Man In Ecstasy

July 02, 2014 / 11,122 views

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth...in and out...in and out. It was going on for 10 minutes at this...

Young Investment Banker Buys The Car Of His Dreams

June 21, 2014 / 13,225 views

A young investment banker goes out and buys the car of his dreams - a brand new Ferrari GTO. After paying $500,000, he takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. While waiting for the light to change, an frail looking old man on a...

A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan

June 12, 2014 / 15,276 views

A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan. The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?" The woman says, "Yes, of...