Funny Clean Jokes

A Blonde And A Lawyer Are Seated Next To Each Other On A Flight

March 17, 2025 / 2,521 views

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to...

A Dog Asks For A Job

February 20, 2025 / 3,098 views

A dog walks into an employment agency and, in perfect English, says, "Excuse me, I need a job." The receptionist, stunned, replies, "Wait a second… you're a talking dog?! This is incredible! With a talent...

A Blonde Is Overweight, So The Doctor Puts Her On A Diet

January 10, 2025 / 4,564 views

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks," the doctor said. "The next time I see you, you’ll...

A Man With No Arms Asks To Ring The Steeple Bell

November 15, 2024 / 6,716 views

A priest is in his church, placing prayer books among the pews when a man with no arms walks inside.   The priest say, "Can I help you my son?"   The man says,...

Superman's Dog

October 31, 2024 / 6,006 views

Superman calls to Lois Lane, "Lois, come in here for a second! I want you to see something." Lois hurries into the room and says, "What is it?" Superman points across the room at their dog, whom he has...

Greatest Invention Ever

September 20, 2024 / 7,802 views

So this TV station reporter was interviewing a 103 year old guy known as the "oldest person in the County". Among other things, she asked him what he thought was the "Greatest Invention" of his lifetime. He says,...

My Son Came Home From School Today And Asked Me

August 16, 2024 / 8,365 views

"Dad, what kind of mouse can walk on 2 legs?" "Hmm, I don't know," I replied. "Mickey Mouse!" he replied, laughing. "Dad, what kind of duck can walk on 2 legs?" he...

A Blonde, A Redhead And A Brunette Are Having Lunch Together

July 11, 2024 / 9,451 views

The brunette opens her lunchbox and sighs: "My husband is so kind, he prepares my lunch every day but... Again a tuna sandwich?" The redhead opens hers and sighs too: "Crap, tuna sandwich for me too......

A Priest, A Pastor, And A Rabbit Walk Into A Blood Donation Clinic

June 03, 2024 / 12,105 views

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic. The nurse greeted them warmly and asked the priest, "What is your blood type, Father?" The priest replied, "I am a type...

Abe And Lucy Are Flying To Australia For A Two Week Vacation To Celebrate Their 40th Anniversary

April 23, 2024 / 12,402 views

Abe and lucy are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news....

A Man Is Dying In The Hospital

February 21, 2024 / 13,593 views

He's surrounded by his two sons, his daughter, his wife, and a nurse. He turns to his family and says: "Peter, my eldest, I leave you the villas in Beverly Hills. Samantha, my beautiful daughter, to you I give the...

Asking A 100-Year-Old Man For His Health Secrets

January 05, 2024 / 14,986 views

Everyone asked a 100-year-old man and his 98-year-old wife for their health secrets. The old man said, "I'll tell you my secret. I've been married for 75 years. I promised my wife when we got married that when we...

A Pencil Can't Catch A Break

November 30, 2023 / 13,529 views

Once upon a time, there was a pencil who couldn't catch a break. No matter how hard it tried, it kept rolling off the desk. Over and over again it would find itself on the dirty floor. Frustrated, the pencil turned to...

A Girl And A Boy Are Locked Out Of Their House

October 12, 2023 / 14,914 views

A sister and brother are locked out of their house. They can't find any way in, so the girl leans forward and starts talking to the front door lock. "Hey door lock you're looking nice today, why don't you...

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by...

August 08, 2023 / 17,067 views

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cab driver says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." Passenger: "Who?" Cab Driver: "Frank...

Three Boys Go Into A Haunted House

June 20, 2023 / 17,225 views

Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun, and one brought nothing but a few cough drops. They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly,...

A Husband Was Met At The Door By His Sobbing Wife

April 10, 2023 / 18,157 views

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. She explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the...

A Woman Was 3 Months Pregnant When She Fell Into A Deep Coma

February 09, 2023 / 53,427 views

A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months. The woman asked the doctor about her baby. Doctor: "You had twins, a boy and a girl. They’re both fine. And, your...

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