Don't Keep Score

By Joseph J. Mazzella • October 2, 2024

I had a friend and neighbor once who was a real “score keeper.” She had grown up learning: “Neither a borrower nor a lender be.” Every favor or act of kindness done to her then had to be paid for either in cash or in kind. Once when I mowed her lawn and forgot to tell her when I was done she followed me to my house to pay me. I could see that living this way, always having to keep score, always having to have the books of her life perfectly balanced caused her a lot of stress. But she continued to live this way even with the misery it caused her.

My own parents grew up not wanting to take charity either, but as poor as they were they still often helped others. Mom and Nana would make special foods to share and give away vegetables from our garden, while Dad would often do chores for someone in need. And when they did so I always saw a special sparkle in their eyes and joy in their smiles.

Then one night our home caught fire and burned to the ground. We all survived but lost everything we owned. We were devastated, homeless, and without hope. But the next day help arrived. The whole community rallied around us in love. They brought us food and clothes, found us a temporary place to stay, and helped my Dad finance a new home for us to live in. There was no way we could ever repay their kindness. There was no way we could ever repay their love. Yet, I soon saw that no one expected us to. Because in the faces of each person who helped us were those same sparkling eyes and joyful smiles.

You see, when it comes to Love, God doesn’t want us to keep score. God gives us more Love than we can ever repay. And God only asks that we freely and joyfully share our love as well. The truth is the more love you share, the more love you have. The more you give, the more you receive. It doesn’t balance out. It just keeps growing. Don’t keep score then. Just Love.

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Many readers told us they started writing down the small positives in their day, and this gratitude journal became a favorite. While others use these kindness cards for kids to help teach them compassion, empathy and encouragement.

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