Reincarnated As A Chicken

February 14, 2014

Dave comes home from the pub, drunkest he's been in a long time, and collapses into bed next to his sleeping wife. Later, he's woken by a brilliant flash of light at the end of his bed, which his still sleeping wife seems oblivious to. St. Peter appears in all his glory, standing over the two of them.

"You have died my son, of alcohol poisoning" says St. Peter. Dave is obviously distraught and begs and pleads with the saint to be given another chance at life.

"Well..." says St. Peter, thumbing through his saintly handbook, "There is a little known rule which might help. Apparently you can be reincarnated in special circumstances if you wish, but only as a dog or as a chicken I'm afraid.." Dave, living next door to a chicken farm, agrees to be reincarnated as a chicken, at least so he can still see his wife.

BOOM, the man is suddenly now a chicken, pecking around the chicken farm. A rooster approaches him and says "Hey! You must be the new arrival here! How's everything going?" "Pretty good" says Dave, "though my stomach feels a bit funny.." "Well you're obviously about to lay an egg! Give it a try... push one out!" So Dave wriggles and squirms and wriggles and squirms and out pops a nice egg!

"That felt great!" thinks Dave, "I think I'll lay another one!" So again he wriggles and squirms and wriggles and squirms and then !!BANG!! His wife angrily slaps him on the back of his head and screams in a rage: "For Christ's sake David!! You've crapped the bed again!!!"

All Jokes Previous Joke Next Joke

Click Here For The Most Popular On Sunny Skyz

feel good videoThese Cat Reactions To Owners Calling Them Through Security Cameras Are Absolutely Hilarious

feel good storiesAnniversary Gift Goes Hilariously Wrong — Or Maybe Perfectly Right

feel good storiesKentucky Nurse Saves Drunk Raccoon With CPR After Dumpster Mishap

feel good storiesFirefighters And Public Works Team Crawl Quarter Mile To Rescue Blind And Deaf Dog

feel good storiesShoulder Labrum Tear Symptoms And The Causes Behind Them

feel good storiesThe Mechanical Nurse At Guy’s Hospital Is Equal Parts Creepy And Brilliant

feel good videoThese Cat Reactions To Owners Calling Them Through Security Cameras Are Absolutely Hilarious

feel good videoEpic ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ Flashmob Takes Over the Streets of Paris

feel good videoLittle Boy Surprises His Favorite Home Depot Employee With Flowers On Her Birthday

feel good videoJamie Lee Curtis Can’t Stop Laughing Over The Only Autograph She Ever Asked For

feel good videoTiny Bear Cub Rescued In The Mountains Of Transylvania

Chris Filippou 12:17 PM (3 minutes ago) to me