Reincarnated As A Chicken
February 14, 2014
Dave comes home from the pub, drunkest he's been in a long time, and collapses into bed next to his sleeping wife. Later, he's woken by a brilliant flash of light at the end of his bed, which his still sleeping wife seems oblivious to. St. Peter appears in all his glory, standing over the two of them.
"You have died my son, of alcohol poisoning" says St. Peter. Dave is obviously distraught and begs and pleads with the saint to be given another chance at life.
"Well..." says St. Peter, thumbing through his saintly handbook, "There is a little known rule which might help. Apparently you can be reincarnated in special circumstances if you wish, but only as a dog or as a chicken I'm afraid.." Dave, living next door to a chicken farm, agrees to be reincarnated as a chicken, at least so he can still see his wife.
BOOM, the man is suddenly now a chicken, pecking around the chicken farm. A rooster approaches him and says "Hey! You must be the new arrival here! How's everything going?" "Pretty good" says Dave, "though my stomach feels a bit funny.." "Well you're obviously about to lay an egg! Give it a try... push one out!" So Dave wriggles and squirms and wriggles and squirms and out pops a nice egg!
"That felt great!" thinks Dave, "I think I'll lay another one!" So again he wriggles and squirms and wriggles and squirms and then !!BANG!! His wife angrily slaps him on the back of his head and screams in a rage: "For Christ's sake David!! You've crapped the bed again!!!"
All Jokes Previous Joke Next Joke
Click Here For The Most Popular On Sunny Skyz
Couple Rescues Prairie Dog From Their Dog's Mouth, Then Decides To Adopt It
My Girlfriend Gifted Me My Father’s Handwriting To Keep Forever
We Can’t Stop Looking At These Adorable Baby Loon Photos Taken On A Lake
This Couple Built A Grass Patch For Their Cat, And She’s Obsessed With It
This All-Black ‘Goth House’ In Indiana Is Going Viral. Wait Until You See The Inside
Meet Igor: The Fluffy Poltergeist Dog With The Most Unhinged Adoption Bio Ever
Baby Elephant’s Trunk Steals The Show In Adorable Treat Time Video
What Happens When A Man With A Hose Meets A Group of Kids? Pure Magic
Chicken Or Pigeon? The Internet Can’t Believe This Bird Is Real
Mom Surprises 4-Year-Old Son With First Apartment After 14 Months In Homeless Shelter
Bear Vs. Sprinkler: Hilarious Garden Moment Caught On Camera