Reincarnated As A Chicken

February 14, 2014

Dave comes home from the pub, drunkest he's been in a long time, and collapses into bed next to his sleeping wife. Later, he's woken by a brilliant flash of light at the end of his bed, which his still sleeping wife seems oblivious to. St. Peter appears in all his glory, standing over the two of them.

"You have died my son, of alcohol poisoning" says St. Peter. Dave is obviously distraught and begs and pleads with the saint to be given another chance at life.

"Well..." says St. Peter, thumbing through his saintly handbook, "There is a little known rule which might help. Apparently you can be reincarnated in special circumstances if you wish, but only as a dog or as a chicken I'm afraid.." Dave, living next door to a chicken farm, agrees to be reincarnated as a chicken, at least so he can still see his wife.

BOOM, the man is suddenly now a chicken, pecking around the chicken farm. A rooster approaches him and says "Hey! You must be the new arrival here! How's everything going?" "Pretty good" says Dave, "though my stomach feels a bit funny.." "Well you're obviously about to lay an egg! Give it a try... push one out!" So Dave wriggles and squirms and wriggles and squirms and out pops a nice egg!

"That felt great!" thinks Dave, "I think I'll lay another one!" So again he wriggles and squirms and wriggles and squirms and then !!BANG!! His wife angrily slaps him on the back of his head and screams in a rage: "For Christ's sake David!! You've crapped the bed again!!!"

All Jokes Previous Joke Next Joke

Click Here For The Most Popular On Sunny Skyz

feel good videoFootball Player Asks Friend With Down Syndrome To Homecoming

feel good storiesRick Astley Reveals What He’s Most Proud Of – And It’s Not The Music

feel good storiesThe Quantum Tunnelers: How Three Scientists Made The Subatomic World Practical

feel good storiesWoman Is Late to Her Own Funeral After Hearse Keys Get Locked Inside

feel good storiesPeople Are Sharing Their Oddly Romantic Date Stories, And They’ll Make You Smile So Big

feel good storiesThis Pit Bull Was Days Away From Being Euthanized. Now, He's A Police Hero

feel good videoDidn't Get The Life You Wanted? Woman’s Street Interview Is Inspiring The Internet

feel good videoOtter Attacks Surfer, Then Steals Her Surfboard

feel good videoDad Dresses As Beast To Walk His Daughter to School And It’s Melting Hearts Everywhere

feel good videoWoman Leaving Gym Finds A Dog Staring At Her

feel good videoThis Turkey Was Heartbroken — Until Her Owner Gave Her The Sweetest Surprise

Chris Filippou 12:17 PM (3 minutes ago) to me