Reincarnated As A Chicken
February 14, 2014
Dave comes home from the pub, drunkest he's been in a long time, and collapses into bed next to his sleeping wife. Later, he's woken by a brilliant flash of light at the end of his bed, which his still sleeping wife seems oblivious to. St. Peter appears in all his glory, standing over the two of them.
"You have died my son, of alcohol poisoning" says St. Peter. Dave is obviously distraught and begs and pleads with the saint to be given another chance at life.
"Well..." says St. Peter, thumbing through his saintly handbook, "There is a little known rule which might help. Apparently you can be reincarnated in special circumstances if you wish, but only as a dog or as a chicken I'm afraid.." Dave, living next door to a chicken farm, agrees to be reincarnated as a chicken, at least so he can still see his wife.
BOOM, the man is suddenly now a chicken, pecking around the chicken farm. A rooster approaches him and says "Hey! You must be the new arrival here! How's everything going?" "Pretty good" says Dave, "though my stomach feels a bit funny.." "Well you're obviously about to lay an egg! Give it a try... push one out!" So Dave wriggles and squirms and wriggles and squirms and out pops a nice egg!
"That felt great!" thinks Dave, "I think I'll lay another one!" So again he wriggles and squirms and wriggles and squirms and then !!BANG!! His wife angrily slaps him on the back of his head and screams in a rage: "For Christ's sake David!! You've crapped the bed again!!!"
Dogs Are Forced To Wear The Things They Steal — And It’s Hilarious
A Baby Pygmy Hippo Was Just Born at Toronto Zoo!
Kitties for Sale: How to Choose a Healthy, Happy Kitten
25 Unforgettable Things to Do in Chicago
Small Acts of Kindness That Change a Stranger’s Entire Day
A Man Thanked the Voice of Mario for His Childhood. Charles Martinet’s Response Was Beautiful
She Had Only 5 Years to Live, Until Her Dog Refused to Leave a Stranger Alone
Two Goats Escape Their Yard and Decide to Catch the Morning Bus
Meet Otter, the Kitten in the Tiny Helmet
Single Dad Adopts Girl with Down Syndrome
This Dog Was Banned From a Store for Stealing. The Day He Returned, He Stole Again
