The crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new face and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name, sailor?"

"John," the new seaman replied.

"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the chief scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, Jackson, whatever. And you are to refer to me as 'Master Chief.’ Do I make myself clear?"

"Aye, Aye, Master Chief!"

"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"

The seaman sighed. "Darling, My name is John Darling, Master Chief."

"Okay, John, here's what I want you to do ...."