Funny Clean Jokes

The Amazing Pig with a Peg Leg

January 04, 2013 / 33,461 views

Two farmers, John and Henry, were sitting around talking about their day when John notices a pig with a wooden leg hobbling across the front yard. He turned to his friend and asks, "Henry, why does that pig have a wooden...

Getting into the pub with your dog

January 02, 2013 / 19,356 views

Two guys were out walking their dogs on a hot day, when they pass by a pub. Mike looks at his friend John and says “Let’s go in there for a quick drink.” John replies with, “They won’t let us...

Frog wants a loan from the bank

December 27, 2012 / 112,862 views

A frog walks into a bank and approaches the teller, whose name plate says Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $50,000 loan to take a vacation." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and...

A Pirate walked into a bar

December 24, 2012 / 18,782 views

A pirate walked into a bar and sat down for a drink. The bartender asked, "Gee you look awful, are you feeling okay?" "I feel fine, why do you ask?," said the pirate. "Well your leg...

Arguing with children can be risky

December 23, 2012 / 45,157 views

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How to get free drinks at the bar

December 21, 2012 / 43,599 views

A man walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The man answers, "A scotch on the rocks, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says, "That'll be five...

Starting Salary

December 20, 2012 / 46,451 views

Reaching the end of an extensive job interview, the HR person asked a young Engineer fresh out of college, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The engineering graduate said, "In the range of $100,000 -...

Only one kiss per yard

December 20, 2012 / 48,398 views

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for my new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a...

I have perfect eyesight

December 20, 2012 / 49,662 views

Norman is 89 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement over 20 years ago. One day he arrives home upset. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight is so bad that once I hit the ball I can't see where the...

Magic Number 5

December 20, 2012 / 68,990 views

I was walking down the street the other day when I saw my best friend Jeff. I walked up to him and mentioned that I had the craziest dream the other night. Jeff listened as I told him that the dream consisted of just one thing. A huge glowing...

Dividing Souls

December 20, 2012 / 63,370 views

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. 'One for you,...

ID ten T error

December 20, 2012 / 113,088 views

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called David, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. David clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was...