Little Old Ladies

September 28, 2013 / 21,297 views

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't...

Talking Dog For Sale

September 19, 2013 / 19,678 views

A guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting...

Duck Testing at the Vet

September 10, 2013 / 10,033 views

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm...

The Lost Dog And The Ferocious Lion

September 04, 2013 / 11,233 views

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says to himself with caution, "This guy looks edible, never seen his kind before." So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog...

Chocolate Store Magic

August 27, 2013 / 12,021 views

A doctor and an engineer entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking around, the doctor stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the doctor said to engineer, "Man! I'm the best thief ever, I stole 3...

Getting into Heaven

August 20, 2013 / 13,487 views

A young man stood before St. Peter who tells him "Son, to let you into Heaven you must tell me one good thing you've done on Earth" The guy thinks for a moment and replies "Well, I saw some some bikers out the...

Mother's Day

August 14, 2013 / 13,912 views

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. But after a good long wait she finally went...

Creative Lawyer

August 05, 2013 / 13,857 views

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the...

Blind Pilots

July 19, 2013 / 14,017 views

Passengers on a small plane are waiting for the flight to leave. They're getting a little impatient, but the airport staff assures them the pilots will be there soon, and then the flight can take off. Finally the entrance opens,...

Husband Email Fail

July 09, 2013 / 19,994 views

A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel...

Excuse for Speeding

June 26, 2013 / 13,952 views

On his 60th birthday, Jeff bought himself a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great,"...

Be On Time

June 12, 2013 / 16,123 views

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner. A local politician and member of the congregation was to give a speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say a few words while they waited. "I got my...

Alligator Shoes

June 11, 2013 / 18,463 views

A young blonde was on vacation in the swamps of Louisiana. She really wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes to bring back for her boyfriend but didn't want to pay the high prices the local stores were charging. After becoming...

Awkward Restroom Chat

May 30, 2013 / 15,714 views

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?" I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom, but I don't know what got into me, so I answered,...

Highway Speed Trap

May 15, 2013 / 17,209 views

A state trooper pulled over a car going just 19 miles per hour on the highway. As the officer approached the car, he noticed it was two elderly women and they both looked very pale and wide-eyed. "Good afternoon ladies. Do you...

A Bridge to Hawaii

April 30, 2013 / 21,837 views

A biker was riding along the beach when suddenly the sky formed clouds above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "You have been very faithful to me, so I will grant you one wish." Stunned and confused, the...

Risky Burial

April 09, 2013 / 19,201 views

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land,...

Where is God?

March 20, 2013 / 20,098 views

A loving couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were just terrible kids always getting in trouble. Running out of ideas, they decided to look to the church. They heard that a clergyman in town had been successful...