Funny Clean Jokes

Jack Wakes Up With A Huge Hangover And A Happy Wife

July 24, 2014 / 27,201 views

A married man, Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after a night out drinking with the boys. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself...

A Man Wakes Up One Morning To Find A Gorilla On His Roof

July 14, 2014 / 20,006 views

So he looks up the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers". He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he"ll be there in 30 minutes. The gorilla remover arrives and gets out of...

An Old Jewish Man On His Death Bed Says To His Wife...

July 09, 2014 / 17,592 views

On his death bed, an old Jewish man says to his wife... "Oh, Sarah, when the shop burned down you were right beside me, no?" "Sure I was Moshe," his wife replied. "When the Nazis drove...

Man In Ecstasy

July 02, 2014 / 12,163 views

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth...in and out...in and out. It was going on for 10 minutes at this...

Young Investment Banker Buys The Car Of His Dreams

June 21, 2014 / 14,479 views

A young investment banker goes out and buys the car of his dreams - a brand new Ferrari GTO. After paying $500,000, he takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. While waiting for the light to change, an frail looking old man on a...

A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan

June 12, 2014 / 16,398 views

A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan. The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?" The woman says, "Yes, of...

Three Men Are Standing At The Pearly Gates

June 06, 2014 / 20,133 views

St. Peter tells them, "As you all know God has a sense of humor and his latest idea is to put the Kingdom of Heaven several hundred miles from the Pearly Gates." "How is that supposed to be funny?" one guy...

What To Do With 5 Penguins In The Car

May 29, 2014 / 17,115 views

A man drives into a gas station. The attendant goes to fill his tank and notices 5 penguins in the back seat. The attendant says, "Hey - why do you have 5 penguins in your car?" The driver says, "I KNOW! I was just...

A Duck Walks Into A Bar

May 20, 2014 / 17,662 views

A duck walks into a bar around lunchtime, sits down and orders a beer and a sandwich. The bartender looks at him and says, "Oh my God, a talking duck! What are you doing here?" The duck replies, "I'm...

A Russian And An Irish Wrestler Square Off

May 13, 2014 / 25,167 views

A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal. Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian....

Newlywed Woman In Her 90s Is Interviewed

May 07, 2014 / 26,241 views

There was a lady in her 90s who became a sort of local celebrity because she had recently gotten married. The local news station decided to interview her. The interviewer asked questions like how it was to be a newlywed in her...

A Bank Robber Forgot His Mask

April 29, 2014 / 18,896 views

A bank robber wanted to keep his identity a secret, but  he forgot to bring his mask. He told everyone in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them. One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the bank robber did what...

A Rich Woman And Her Butler

April 21, 2014 / 20,588 views

A rich couple was going out for the evening. The lady of the house decided to give the butler, Throckmorton, the night off. She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his evening. As it turned out, the...

Two Guys Are Hunting In The Woods

April 09, 2014 / 19,396 views

One of them spots a hole in the ground that looks unusually deep. He picks up a rock and throws it in the hole, and never hears it hit the bottom. "Try something heavier", the other man suggests. They find a rusty old...

The Magic Elevator

April 01, 2014 / 20,849 views

A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, "What's this,...

Selling War Insurance

March 25, 2014 / 11,808 views

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a...

A Farmer And His Watermelons

March 19, 2014 / 14,843 views

A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So...

God Asks Adam To Do Something

March 16, 2014 / 13,651 views

God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me." Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?" God said, "Go down into that valley." Adam said, "What's a...