Funny Clean Jokes
Two Sisters Inherit The Family Farm
November 04, 2014 / 18,935 views
There are two sisters. One is blonde and the other is brunette and they inherit the family farm. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the farm,...
A Monkey Starts Insulting A Lion
October 29, 2014 / 21,933 views
A lion and lioness are sitting in their den, when a monkey climbs up a nearby tree and starts insulting the mighty lion. The lioness starts to get angry and says, "King of the jungle, how dare you allow this puny monkey to...
A Homeless Man Knocks On A Woman's Door
October 20, 2014 / 15,176 views
A homeless man knocks on a woman's door. "Think you could spare a few bucks? Maybe some food?" The woman thinks to herself for a few seconds, then says, "You could do some handy work around here....
The Deaf Wife Problem
October 13, 2014 / 14,392 views
Fred feared his wife Rhonda wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is...
A Husband And Wife Go Golfing
October 01, 2014 / 14,608 views
A husband and wife who are avid golfers have been happily married for 30 years, and on the day of their 30th anniversary they enjoy a wonderful day together. They have a delicious breakfast in bed, then proceed to one of their favorite golf...
The Human-like Gorilla
September 23, 2014 / 17,872 views
A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable. However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they cannot afford to go a day without it....
There Was A Shipwreck, And Only Scarlett Johansson And Some Random Guy Survived On A Deserted Island
September 17, 2014 / 16,524 views
They didn't know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was. At the beginning it was hard, but as time passed, this guy learnt how to provide food and shelter, he started taking care of her, and eventually she...
A Husband And Wife Go To Counseling After 30 Years Of Marriage
September 09, 2014 / 27,041 views
After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect,...
A Blind Man Sits At A Bar, Wants To Tell A Blonde Joke
September 04, 2014 / 25,237 views
A blind man sits down at the bar and figures he'll break the ice with the bartender by asking "Wanna hear a blond joke?" In a hushed voice, a man beside him says "Before you tell that joke, you should know our...
A Woman Is Cooking Eggs In The Kitchen When Her Husband Comes Running In
August 25, 2014 / 19,749 views
A woman is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband comes running in. Immediately, he sees the eggs and gasps in horror. "Be careful! CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh, my GOSH!" The wife, startled at her...
A Fire Started In A Chemical Plant
August 18, 2014 / 22,099 views
One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and before you could snap your fingers it exploded into flames and the alarm went out to the volunteer fire departments from miles around. When the...
The 80 Year-Old Man And His Beautiful Young Bride
August 13, 2014 / 22,944 views
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup, and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got a 20 year old bride who's pregnant, and having my...
An Old Couple Is Having Trouble Remembering Things
August 06, 2014 / 28,831 views
A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that...
Getting Married In Heaven
July 29, 2014 / 11,743 views
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could...
Jack Wakes Up With A Huge Hangover And A Happy Wife
July 24, 2014 / 25,841 views
A married man, Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after a night out drinking with the boys. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself...
A Man Wakes Up One Morning To Find A Gorilla On His Roof
July 14, 2014 / 19,042 views
So he looks up the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers". He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he"ll be there in 30 minutes. The gorilla remover arrives and gets out of...
An Old Jewish Man On His Death Bed Says To His Wife...
July 09, 2014 / 16,494 views
On his death bed, an old Jewish man says to his wife... "Oh, Sarah, when the shop burned down you were right beside me, no?" "Sure I was Moshe," his wife replied. "When the Nazis drove...
Man In Ecstasy
July 02, 2014 / 11,248 views
He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth...in and out...in and out. It was going on for 10 minutes at this...
Dogs Are Forced To Wear The Things They Steal — And It’s Hilarious
A Man Ruined A Beautiful Snowman Display — What Happened Next Was Perfect
Jonathan And Nancy Fell In Love In Real Life — And So Did Their Stunt Doubles
Cat Owner Begs Internet For Advice On How To Get Her Cat To Stop Playing Piano
The Father Who Never Left His Son Behind
This Restaurant's Dog Menu Is Almost As Fancy As The Human Menu
Dogs Are Forced To Wear The Things They Steal — And It’s Hilarious
Two Humpback Whales Fall In Love With A Dog In Incredible Video
Vermont Trooper Jumps Into Frozen Pond To Save Child Trapped Under Ice
Her Reaction To Getting The Baby Cow She’s Always Wanted Has Us All In Tears
School Writes Song For Retiring Lunch Lady And Sings It On Her Last Day


