A Burglar Breaks Into A Home With A Parrot

October 13, 2015 / 16,512 views

A burglar broke into a home. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you." Thinking it was his imagination, he continued his search. Again, he hears: "Jesus is watching you." He turned...

A Navy Master Chief Questions A New Seaman

October 07, 2015 / 17,274 views

The crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new face and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name, sailor?" "John," the new seaman replied. "Look, I don't know what kind of...

A Woman Goes To The Doctor Worried About Her Husband's Temper

September 29, 2015 / 46,335 views

A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper. The Doctor asks: "What's the problem?" The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his...

A Politician Dies And Has To Spend Just ONE Day In Hell. This Is Priceless!

September 22, 2015 / 66,976 views

A politician dies and ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name. "So, you're a politician..." "Well, yes, is that...

An Old Farmer Catches A Group Of Women Skinny Dipping In His Pond

September 12, 2015 / 34,781 views

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach...

These Seniors Couldn't Get The $2.99 Special Without Eggs, So They Did Something Genius

September 07, 2015 / 17,249 views

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the ‘Senior Special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99. "Sounds good," my wife said, "but I don't want the eggs." "Then...

A Man Takes His Pet Lobsters Out For A Swim

August 25, 2015 / 15,635 views

A Game Warden is walking along a beach one morning when he spots a man with a bucket of lobsters. The Warden walks up to the man, flashes his badge and says, "You're in big trouble, buddy. Poaching lobsters is a serious...

Mom Suspected Her Son Was In A Relationship With His Roommate. How She Found Out Is Priceless

August 19, 2015 / 55,302 views

A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate. During the course of the meal, his mother could't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and...

He Says He's Too Smart For 2nd Grade, So His Teacher Puts Him To The Test

August 11, 2015 / 19,720 views

A second grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Johnny what his problem was, and he replied, "I'm too smart for the second grade, my sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than her...

A Student Tries To Convince His Teacher To Give Him A Better Grade. The Final Attempt Is Priceless

August 04, 2015 / 14,314 views

A student goes to talk to his professor about the grade on his exam. He walks up and says, "What is this? Why did you give me an 80?" The professor looks at the exam again, "Yep, an 80 is what you...

Dad's New Wife Tries To Ruin Her Wedding Day, But Then Her Real Mom Comes To The Rescue

July 27, 2015 / 19,395 views

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed...

When Beethoven Passed Away, He Was Buried In A Churchyard

July 20, 2015 / 17,046 views

A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent...

She Catches Her Husband Cheating, And Then He Says This

July 13, 2015 / 15,422 views

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive woman. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me – faithful wife, the mother of your...

He Asked His Wife To Bury Him With ALL His Money, So This Is What She Did

July 03, 2015 / 24,735 views

There was a man who had worked all of his life and has saved all of his money. He was a real cheapskate when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his...

A Priest, A Doctor, And An Engineer Are Playing Golf

June 30, 2015 / 23,044 views

An engineer, a priest, and a doctor are trying to enjoying a round of golf. Ahead of them is a group playing so slowly and inexpertly that in frustration the three ask the greenkeeper for an explanation. "That's a group of...

He Told His Wife He's Going To Give A Speech On Water Skiing At Church. The Result Is Hilarious

June 25, 2015 / 14,493 views

In Church there is a family that has recently been baptized. After a month of being new members the Bishop calls them in separately to see how they are doing. During an interview with the father, the bishop asks, “"Will you...

If You Have These Symptoms, You May Have Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

June 17, 2015 / 16,259 views

Recently, a women was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. (Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder). This is how it manifests: I decide to water my flower tubs. As I turn on the hose I look over at my car and decide it needs...

A Horse Walks Into A Bar

June 09, 2015 / 18,995 views

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse stands there, staring blankly at the bartender. Everyone starts to feel a little awkward. The horse's handler comes in and leads it out, but not before...