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A Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Lawyer: "Have you any grounds?"

Man: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."

Lawyer: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

Man: "It made of concrete."

Lawyer: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"

Man: "No, we have carport, and not need one."

Lawyer: "I mean, what are your relations like?"

Man: "All my relations still in Poland."

Lawyer: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

Man: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."

Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?"

Man: "No, I always up before her."

Lawyer: "WHY do you want this divorce?"

Man: "She going to kill me."

Lawyer: "What makes you think that?"

Man: "I got proof.

Lawyer: "What kind of proof?"

Man: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says: