Funny Clean Jokes

Want To Participate In A Marathon?

December 20, 2018 / 45,289 views

A charity worker stopped me in the street and asked if I fancied taking part in a marathon. I was going to decline but he told me it was for disabled kids and children with severe learning difficulties. I thought, why...

Dinosaurs Find A Magic Lamp

December 03, 2018 / 55,112 views

Three dinosaurs stumble across a magic lamp. They rub it, and a genie appears. "I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces. The first dinosaur thinks...

A Man Stays The Night With Monks And Hears A Strange Sound

November 21, 2018 / 86,631 views

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even...

The Casket

November 12, 2018 / 54,806 views

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears: BUMP!… BUMP!… BUMP!… Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging...

A German Shepherd, Doberman And Cat Have Died And Gone To Heaven

November 02, 2018 / 203,602 views

A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died. All three are faced with God who wants to know what they believe in. The German shepherd says: "I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my...

Jesus And Satan Are Arguing Over Who Is Better On The Computer

October 17, 2018 / 55,065 views

They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better...

A Young Couple Dies On The Way To Their Wedding

September 27, 2018 / 68,860 views

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to...

A Major Asks For The Lieutenant

September 13, 2018 / 85,215 views

A major arrives at a remote post. "Where's your lieutenant?" he asks a private. "Sir, there isn't a lieutenant assigned to this post." "I was told there was." "No,...

My Daughter Learned To Count!

September 05, 2018 / 69,778 views

My daughter woke me around 11:50 last night. My wife and I had picked her up from her friend Sally's birthday party, brought her home, and put her to bed. My wife went into the bedroom to read while I fell asleep watching the Braves...

A Man Runs Out Of Gas

August 28, 2018 / 94,476 views

A man is driving down the road and runs out of gas. A few moments later, a bee flies in his window. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the bee. "I'm out of gas," the man replied. The...

The DNA Test

August 09, 2018 / 71,495 views

After 3 years, a wife starts to think that their child looks different, so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the child is actually from completely different parents. Wife: "Honey, I have something very...

Three Brothers Age 92, 94 And 96 Live Together

August 03, 2018 / 68,434 views

One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." He...

A Lion Spots A Lost Dog In The Jungle

July 23, 2018 / 80,612 views

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution "this guy looks edible, never seen his kind before". So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and...

The Shy Priest

June 28, 2018 / 50,768 views

A shy priest greets the wedding guests to the Chapel. He's very nervous and doesn't say much. As the couple approach the altar the priest steps up and gives the best speech anyone has ever heard. He's full of confidence,...

Hot Dogs In America

May 30, 2018 / 62,392 views

Two immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in...

A Genie Says 'You Have 3 Wishes'

April 26, 2018 / 68,666 views

A man finds an ancient oil lamp and out comes an all powerful genie. Genie: "You have 3 wishes." Man: "I don't know, I've seen this before. Whatever I wish for will...

A Mexican Man Who Speaks No English Tries To Buy Socks

April 16, 2018 / 92,617 views

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines," said the man. "I...

A Magic Trick In A Pastry Shop

March 26, 2018 / 63,921 views

Two broke and hungry best friends, Dave and John, go to a pastry shop. Dave suddenly whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't notice. He says to John, "See how clever I am?...