A Major Asks For The Lieutenant

September 13, 2018

A major arrives at a remote post. "Where's your lieutenant?" he asks a private.

"Sir, there isn't a lieutenant assigned to this post."

"I was told there was."

"No, sir, no lieutenant here."

"I'm pretty sure there is."

The private thinks about it for a moment. "Well, Major, if I may ask you a question, imagine you took the word 'rifle' and removed the letter 'f', what would remain?"

"Well, 'rile' I suppose."

"That's what I thought. And sir, if you took the word 'draft' and removed the letter 'f', what would remain?"

Amused, the major answers, "'Drat' I guess."

"And sir, if you took the word 'lieutenant' and removed the letter 'f', what would remain?"

The major says, "There is no 'f' in lieutenant."

"That's what I have been trying to tell you, sir. There is no effin' lieutenant."

All Jokes Previous Joke Next Joke

Click Here For The Most Popular On Sunny Skyz

feel good videoZoo Visitor Captures Incredible Moment An Elephant Saves A Gazelle From Drowning

feel good storiesShe Meant Every Word Of 'In Sickness And In Health'

feel good storiesMy Friend Threw Her Disabled Cat A Birthday Party In The Park

feel good storiesThe Grade That Saved A Life: A Professor's Unforgettable Act Of Kindness

feel good storiesHummingbirds Are Nesting On String Lights - And People Are Sharing The Cutest Photos

feel good storiesSoaked, Scared, And Alone - Baby Raccoon Melts Hearts After Rescue

feel good videoZoo Visitor Captures Incredible Moment An Elephant Saves A Gazelle From Drowning

feel good videoGolden Retriever Pushes Owner Into Water Causing Hilarious Chaos

feel good videoMan Claims He Can Speak Chicken - And Then Proves It

feel good videoEmu Has An Absolute Blast Playing Chase With Dogs

feel good videoKid's Freestyle Dance To Live Jazz Is Pure Joy — And Viewers Can't Get Enough

Chris Filippou 12:17 PM (3 minutes ago) to me