A Major Asks For The Lieutenant

September 13, 2018

A major arrives at a remote post. "Where's your lieutenant?" he asks a private.

"Sir, there isn't a lieutenant assigned to this post."

"I was told there was."

"No, sir, no lieutenant here."

"I'm pretty sure there is."

The private thinks about it for a moment. "Well, Major, if I may ask you a question, imagine you took the word 'rifle' and removed the letter 'f', what would remain?"

"Well, 'rile' I suppose."

"That's what I thought. And sir, if you took the word 'draft' and removed the letter 'f', what would remain?"

Amused, the major answers, "'Drat' I guess."

"And sir, if you took the word 'lieutenant' and removed the letter 'f', what would remain?"

The major says, "There is no 'f' in lieutenant."

"That's what I have been trying to tell you, sir. There is no effin' lieutenant."

All Jokes Previous Joke Next Joke

Click Here For The Most Popular On Sunny Skyz

feel good videoThese Cat Reactions To Owners Calling Them Through Security Cameras Are Absolutely Hilarious

feel good storiesKentucky Nurse Saves Drunk Raccoon With CPR After Dumpster Mishap

feel good storiesShoulder Labrum Tear Symptoms And The Causes Behind Them

feel good stories'Everyone Gets A Kick Out Of It': Baby Born At McDonald’s Parking Lot Has Perfect Nickname

feel good storiesThe Mechanical Nurse At Guy’s Hospital Is Equal Parts Creepy And Brilliant

feel good storiesDad And His Dog Share Breakfast Together Every Morning — And It’s The Sweetest Routine

feel good videoEpic ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ Flashmob Takes Over the Streets of Paris

feel good videoTexas Cheerleaders Perform Emotional 9/11 Tribute That Brings Crowd To Tears

feel good videoFDNY Honors Bride Whose Father Died On 9/11 With Touching Wedding Surprise

feel good videoHoney Badger Picks Fight With Elephant, Gets Hilariously Booted Away

feel good videoTiny Soccer Rivals Choose Hugs Over Competition

Chris Filippou 12:17 PM (3 minutes ago) to me