Funny Clean Jokes

Talk Like a Frog

October 09, 2013 / 12,489 views

A 5 year-old girl goes to the hospital with her mother to visit her grandfather. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her mother and bursts into her Grandpa's room. "Grandpa, Grandpa!!" she says excitedly,...

Flat Tire Final Exam

October 01, 2013 / 23,347 views

There were four University sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an A so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but,...

Little Old Ladies

September 28, 2013 / 21,686 views

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't...

Talking Dog For Sale

September 19, 2013 / 20,001 views

A guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting...

Duck Testing at the Vet

September 10, 2013 / 10,267 views

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm...

The Lost Dog And The Ferocious Lion

September 04, 2013 / 11,508 views

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says to himself with caution, "This guy looks edible, never seen his kind before." So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog...

Chocolate Store Magic

August 27, 2013 / 12,324 views

A doctor and an engineer entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking around, the doctor stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the doctor said to engineer, "Man! I'm the best thief ever, I stole 3...

Getting into Heaven

August 20, 2013 / 13,789 views

A young man stood before St. Peter who tells him "Son, to let you into Heaven you must tell me one good thing you've done on Earth" The guy thinks for a moment and replies "Well, I saw some some bikers out the...

Mother's Day

August 14, 2013 / 14,173 views

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. But after a good long wait she finally went...

Creative Lawyer

August 05, 2013 / 14,104 views

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the...

Blind Pilots

July 19, 2013 / 14,418 views

Passengers on a small plane are waiting for the flight to leave. They're getting a little impatient, but the airport staff assures them the pilots will be there soon, and then the flight can take off. Finally the entrance opens,...

Husband Email Fail

July 09, 2013 / 20,498 views

A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel...

Excuse for Speeding

June 26, 2013 / 14,206 views

On his 60th birthday, Jeff bought himself a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great,"...

Be On Time

June 12, 2013 / 16,404 views

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner. A local politician and member of the congregation was to give a speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say a few words while they waited. "I got my...

Alligator Shoes

June 11, 2013 / 18,856 views

A young blonde was on vacation in the swamps of Louisiana. She really wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes to bring back for her boyfriend but didn't want to pay the high prices the local stores were charging. After becoming...

Awkward Restroom Chat

May 30, 2013 / 16,049 views

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?" I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom, but I don't know what got into me, so I answered,...

Highway Speed Trap

May 15, 2013 / 17,537 views

A state trooper pulled over a car going just 19 miles per hour on the highway. As the officer approached the car, he noticed it was two elderly women and they both looked very pale and wide-eyed. "Good afternoon ladies. Do you...

A Bridge to Hawaii

April 30, 2013 / 23,079 views

A biker was riding along the beach when suddenly the sky formed clouds above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "You have been very faithful to me, so I will grant you one wish." Stunned and confused, the...