All Good News

Bill works in a machine shop. One day he gets into an accident at work. He leans in too close to a piece of machinery and it chops off his arm. Bob rushes over to help. He puts Bill's arm in a plastic bag and takes him to the hospital. An hour later Bill comes out with his arm reattached. "Ahhh, the miracles of modern medicine," says Bob.

A few weeks later, Bill leans in too close again but this time it chops off his leg. Bob puts Bill's leg in a plastic bag and takes him to the hospital. A few hours later Bill comes out with his leg reattached. "Ahhh, the miracles of modern medicine did it again!" says Bob.

A few weeks later, Bill once again leans in too close but this time it chops off his head. Bob rushes over, puts Bill's head in a plastic bag and takes him to the hospital. Three hours go by and finally a doctor emerges from the surgery room.

He walks over to Bob and says, "I'm sorry, but your friend didn't make it."

Bob is distraught and says, "But the miracles of modern medicine have samed him before. Why couldn't you reattach his head?"

The doctor replies, "We would have been able to, but some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."