A Time For Me
By Ann Cabig • June 15, 2018
Since I became a mother, I cannot remember the last time I had quality time for myself... Even my simple hobby of reading a book was already a thing of the past. All my time evolved in taking care of the family, my kids, my husband, doing the house chores and of course working to earn a living. Whenever I get to be invited by my colleagues to go out after work, I politely declined telling them the truth that I have a family to take care after work. Not to mention the tons of laundry, errands and other house chores waiting for me. Well, I guess that is all part of motherhood. Of course, I took responsibility of my being a mother and wife and tried my very best to maximize my time as much as possible.
But then, as years passed by I realized that the chores were unending. My to-do list never seemed to have an end. Even if I try to finish all of it, new ones will always come up. I tried to prioritize my tasks and still feel very exhausted at the end of the day. I tried to share responsibilities with my husband and kids, but still felt that I have no time for myself. The chores seemed to be endless.
I craved for "me time. " And when I say me time, I only meant being able to do my eyebrows in an unhurried way, having an hour or so of quiet bliss, playing candy crush, listening to music, reading a book, or watching a movie without being constantly interrupted by my toddler with the words, "It's my turn, mama." I have been so used to not having time for myself that I didn't give much thought about that "me time" until just recently.
After 10 long years of waiting, my immigrant visa application was finally approved and I had to travel to a new country all by myself. Since the agency was going to pay for my airfare only, my husband and kids will have to follow at a later date as soon as I can purchase their plane tickets.
And so it happened.
I was alone in an apartment. Now I can do whatever I wanted and keep the house clean and tidy. I can read my favorite books and do all that I wanted to do with my time. I practically had all the time for myself while waiting for my job orientation!
But surprisingly it didn't make me happy. I was lonely. No more daily routine of nagging and pushing the kids to get up and help out. I missed my kids, I missed my husband, I missed my family back home. (I don't think I miss the nagging part. I do not like it too.) I felt something in me was missing. My kids, my family are already part of me. I spent nights crying myself to sleep easing the loneliness within me.
Then I came to realize that making time for me doesn't mean being away from those I love. I can still have a "me time" even if I have the kids around and endless chores and errands to take care. I can prioritize and plan. I can change my attitude and approach towards house chores and errands. Life wouldn't be the same without the people you love near you.
As of the moment, I am looking forward that they can join me soon and still have time for myself . . .
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