Let It Go!
By Anjali Mohapatra • November 26, 2017
I was stepping down from the staircase of my office instead of using the elevator with a smile on my face. I don't know why, but my heart was filled with a peculiar feeling. Maybe it was due to excess happiness or maybe I was extremely emotional. This was my last day in my office. I was confused, what exactly was going on in my mind. My staff members wished me a lot of good wishes for the rest of my life. I responded with a smile. For the last time, I went back to my table again and sat on my chair, looked at the designation sign board, kept on the table. In a shining rectangular steel board, it was written 'CEO', below it, my name. I read it again and again, for how many times, that also I didn't know! Unconsciously, I took a deep breath! Perhaps, it was my unseen tears, or sorrow, or whatever you may say, transformed into a deep breath! 'No more I am the CEO! Oh, my God!!!' automatically came out from my lips. Once again I sighed deeply.
One month passed. I tried my best to adjust myself with a new life, which was obviously little bit boring. Boring in the sense, there was no office, no routine life, no family life either. I was a bachelor. The worst part is, from a very high level, if somebody comes down to a non-existence form, it hurts like anything else. It is really, really unbearable! But, it happens, because it is inevitable! The same thing happened to me too. Although, I got enough job offers, after my retirement, I refuted it all. I don't know, why I was not interested in a job any more! I had already decided not to join anywhere. Maybe, life long dependent stressful work was not acceptable for me any more!
However, one day I was very much anxious to visit my ex-office to meet my staff members and to meet my colleagues. So, without any delay, I went there at 1:50 p.m, so that the lunch time would be over and they could spare some time with me. Eventually, I reached there. Some of my colleagues were absent. I met others, but I felt as if I missed something. They greeted me,talked to me, but there was no more that love and affection or respect, the way they were showing me before! Everything seemed to me, very casual. Perhaps, my expectation was too high! Maybe, maybe the way I imagined to be greeted was too much! Maybe they were right and I was wrong. I should have remembered that no more I am their boss. That pride and honour of my peak time had grabbed me so tightly that I was not ready to come down from that phase! I was not supposed to expect so much from them, because no longer I am in that position.
With a heavy heart, I came back from the office. Probably, they behaved decently, but since my expectation was in a different level, I assumed them in a wrong way! However, to relax my mind, instead of going back to home, I went to a nearby park. Sitting on a bench, I was watching every single person moving around there. So many school going children were playing, others were enjoying the cool, pleasant atmosphere of the park. I had nothing to do more, and ample time was there to analyse my own grief. The more I analysed, the more peace I received. Slowly, I realised that no one was at fault. It was my disillusion of power and position of my hay days. I think, I am not the first person to feel like this, perhaps every retired person must be feeling in the same way, if they are not engaged in a specific work after retirement!
Life is like this only! People will hover around you, till you are in high position or you have money. Once you are out of the rank, you will be unnoticeable. Invariably it happens, except some rare exceptional cases! Nobody has time to look you back. Even if they pay any attention, then their outlook is definitely changed, something different. So, there is nothing to be worried. Up and down is a normal flow of life. We should accept it happily.
If you have somebody or nobody, doesn't matter. Make up your mind that whatever you have, you are happy. Then only you can be happy otherwise you can never be happy.
It was my good day in that park, because I learnt a wonderful lesson from some small kids playing over there. While I was resting on the bench, I heard one of the kids telling to his friend,'What is this, yaar? Why are you getting angry for yesterday's incident? Forget it, yaar! It is gone, past! Let it go, friend! Then only, we can play together again.'
I distinctly heard all his words but one phrase pierced my heart 'let go'. I smiled silently because I knew that the boy used these words lightly just like that to pacify his friend, but I took it as a lost treasure. In fact, I thought, 'This 'let, go' is the best principle to make your mind cool and happy!'
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