It's Taken Me 34 Years, But I'm Finally Living
By Liveloverun • June 15, 2017
I've lived my entire life doing what basically everyone expected me to do. I taught in the public school for 10 years, and even though I was exhausted and had a nagging feeling that it wasn't the career path for me, I stayed because people in my life were proud of me for being a teacher and I just didn't want to risk disappointing them.
Also 10 years ago, I married a man that deep down I had a bad feeling about, but I stayed because all my friends were getting married and I was terrified of being alone. I should have listened to my gut, because for the 8.5 years of our marriage, I was verbally abused, financially controlled, and manipulated. Had he not up and left me for another woman, my insecurity might have made me still stay with him.
Also for the last 5 or 6 years I suffered from female problems that ended up needed a hysterectomy and destroyed my chance to bear kids. And other chronic health problems made me sick and exhausted and I gained 130 lbs.
The day he left me, I saw my life as having no meaning and no worth. I was alone, broke (he stole my savings), had nowhere to go, I hated my job, and I snapped and attempted suicide. I spent the next 3 days in a mental hospital.
The year that followed wasn't any better. I got very sick and required hospitalization and missed so many days of work that I lost my job. I got in a bad car wreck and totaled my car and couldn't afford another one at the time. Things kept happening.
Finally, about 6 months ago I decided I was sick and tired of being miserable and sick and exhausted and I was tired of doing what everyone expected me to, and made some radical changes.
I left the teaching career for good, took a risk, and became self employed.
I joined a gym, read over nutritional blogs and books and learned how to eat clean. I'm down 44 lbs so far.
I started dating an amazing man, one who loves and respects me and is truly my partner.
I was able to buy a new car.
I learned how to play tennis and found out I'm actually really good at it.
I decided to sign up this fall for bellydance classes, something I always wanted to try but thought I was too old and too fat for.
In short, at 34 years old, my life is better than it's ever been. I've finally learned that my life is my own; and I'm the only one who knows what path is best for me. I'm living my life exactly the way I want, with people who truly deserve my company, making money on my own terms, and doing things that make me happy.
My point? It's never too late to reinvent yourself. To rewrite your story. To start again.
You're never too old to take on a new hobby or a new dream.
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