It has been a tough roller coaster of events, which in turn leads to this tough exterior and an internal negative mind set because of all the traumatic events that unfolded every single day, when you wake up every day wondering what could possibly be worse than yesterday, as always expectation go above and beyond and the next day holds more or even bigger turmoil than before. For many years I believed this is what MY life would be like, I accepted that my life would be a misery of depression, anxiety, stress, bad circumstances, little health and worst of all NO hope. I tried to step out to cure myself, but every step I took was futile. I tried to make the smallest changes every day, but everyday grew harder it was like fighting a battle, almost like a demon within not wanting to let me escape my prison, keeping me captive, that would not let me believe I had anything of value to offer be it friends, family or anyone ever.

I forgot how much I enjoyed helping sick people, it used to make me feel amazing, make me feel great and alive, but as soon as it was over the negativity would come haunting me back, leaving what little hope I had in life to be pulled away, sending me back into the deep hole of misery that I allowed myself to believe that is where I belong that is what my life is, it’s like a different life there, only sadness, betrayal and misery live there, anything light does not enter (Don’t let that stop you, YOU deserve better).

Then it happened, the most unexpected thing in life, I still can’t believe it, which made me believe I am a good person and I only deserve good things. I met the most amazing person ever, as soon as he stepped into the room it was like there was a ray of sunshine and brightness that could make anyone feel lighter and happy. I watched him in a distant stuck in my room of darkness that was clinging onto me with every strength it had, and I was trying my best to keep away from his light, afraid it might burn me. That only drew him closer wanting to change the world with his positivity and warmth, lucky enough starting with me. Working with me together each and every day, that dark room I had created for myself, started to show cracks amongst the surface and little rays of sunshine were gradually making their way in, as the darkness tried to cling onto me, it no longer felt a part of me. For the first time I felt stronger, I felt powerful, I have hope, and I almost feel alive again. I started to appreciate all the small things in life. I am growing each and every day. I believe in good and only good things can happen to me.

Life is worth living every single minute every single second.