How To Stop Seeking Approval From Others
By Michael • April 28, 2016
When you live your life for the purpose of other people's approval...who's life are you living? When you dress, talk, and act in a certain way just to make someone "like you"...you're not free. The problem is many of us seek the approval of other people, and as a result we live a life according to other people's standards instead of our own. It is obvious when someone is doing something for the approval of others, we sense it. On the other hand, when someone is living life by THEIR RULES and acting through THEIR DESIRES...well those are the people we admire. So how do you stop seeking approval from others???
It's very simple. Become comfortable with the prospect of disapproval. No matter what you're doing or who you are...THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE READY TO DISAPPROVE OF YOU. Disapproval is constant. The problem is many of us FEAR DISAPPROVAL. Do you fear rain? Do you fear the grass growing? Do you fear going to the bathroom? Of course not! These are constants of life, and rather than being fearful of constants it is better to embrace constants and accept them as a natural part of life.
The problem is many people view disapproval as something that CAN BE AVOIDED. Guess what! It cannot be avoided. LeBron James, one of the greatest basketball players of our time receives disapproval. Jesus Christ, one of the most influential human beings in history received disapproval. The point is, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE....you will receive disapproval. SO EMBRACE IT.
Talk to that girl,write that blog, move to that city, START THAT BUSINESS! Sure you might fail, and God forbid someone might disapprove of the action you take....SO WHAT. You now know that like the air you breath disapproval is A CONSTANT. It cannot be avoided, and therefore it should be your friend.
Ask yourself who are the people you admire in this society? Is it the student who seeks the teacher's approval? Is it the person who accepts a menial day job because it's "safe" and very likely to get society's stamp of approval. You don't admire these people! You admire the risk taker! You admire the person that's willing to say what they want to say REGARDLESS OF DISAPPROVAL. You admire the entrepreneur who starts a business even though failure is imminent. It's the people who are living unapologetically the way they want BECAUSE THEY WANT TO....those are the people we love. Start being the person you admire...love yourself.
Yet we still seek approval! We irrationally go against our own intuition and do the things that we think will make us "fit in". We chase the approval of others and it perpetually evades us. The truth is the only way you'll catch that carrot of approval is to STOP CHASING IT. Once you start chasing your own carrot people will start giving you their own. What a concept, do what you want BECAUSE YOU WANT TO, and people will love you for it (or they won't, but who cares).
Just remember, disapproval is a constant you must embrace. Live life on your standards, your reality...your rules. Go for what you want in life, not for other's approval, but for your own intrinsic satisfaction. Who gives a shit if people don't like what you say or do....accept their disapproval, AND DO IT ANYWAYS.
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