Twas The Day After Christmas
By Kay • December 26, 2015
Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
at the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
the gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
and the way I'd never said,"No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
and prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished.
Till all of the last additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore.
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy new year to all and to all a good diet!
PREVIOUS STORY NEXT STORY SHARE YOUR STORY
Click Here For The Most Popular On Sunny Skyz
'Don't Waste Your Life': It Took Me 30+ Years To Realize What I'll Tell You In 10 Minutes
Outdoor Cats Are Using $500 Starlink Satellite Dishes As Cozy Heated Beds
The 10 Most Captivating Epiphanies of the Month
Stranger’s Note At Breakfast Leaves Dad Crying In Public
'I Saw My Dog In Dog Paradise': Woman Sees Dog In The Clouds After Losing Her Best Friend
F1 Inspirational Stories Beyond The Track
'Don't Waste Your Life': It Took Me 30+ Years To Realize What I'll Tell You In 10 Minutes
This Couple Had Flower Grandparents Instead Of Flower Girls, And Left Everyone In Tears
Mini Horse Running Full Speed Down Hill Puts On The Breaks Just In Time
An Older Mom's Words To A Young Mom At The Store Has Everyone Crying
Tiny Rockstars! Toddler Twins Start A Rock Band In The Garage