Twas The Day After Christmas

By Kay • December 26, 2015

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house

Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste

at the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;

the gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese

and the way I'd never said,"No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt

and prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

I said to myself, as I only can

"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,

get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished.

Till all of the last additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.

I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,

I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore.

But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.

Happy new year to all and to all a good diet!

PREVIOUS STORY NEXT STORY SHARE YOUR STORY

Click Here For The Most Popular On Sunny Skyz

feel good video'Don't Waste Your Life': It Took Me 30+ Years To Realize What I'll Tell You In 10 Minutes

feel good storiesOutdoor Cats Are Using $500 Starlink Satellite Dishes As Cozy Heated Beds

feel good storiesThe 10 Most Captivating Epiphanies of the Month

feel good storiesStranger’s Note At Breakfast Leaves Dad Crying In Public

feel good stories'I Saw My Dog In Dog Paradise': Woman Sees Dog In The Clouds After Losing Her Best Friend

feel good storiesF1 Inspirational Stories Beyond The Track

feel good video'Don't Waste Your Life': It Took Me 30+ Years To Realize What I'll Tell You In 10 Minutes

feel good videoThis Couple Had Flower Grandparents Instead Of Flower Girls, And Left Everyone In Tears

feel good videoMini Horse Running Full Speed Down Hill Puts On The Breaks Just In Time

feel good videoAn Older Mom's Words To A Young Mom At The Store Has Everyone Crying

feel good videoTiny Rockstars! Toddler Twins Start A Rock Band In The Garage