Twas The Day After Christmas

By Kay • December 26, 2015

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house

Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste

at the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;

the gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese

and the way I'd never said,"No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt

and prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

I said to myself, as I only can

"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,

get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished.

Till all of the last additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.

I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,

I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore.

But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.

Happy new year to all and to all a good diet!

SHARE YOUR STORY

Click Here For The Most Popular On Sunny Skyz

feel good videoCouple Rescues Prairie Dog From Their Dog's Mouth, Then Decides To Adopt It

feel good storiesOhio Man Makes Waves With His Fully Functioning Hot Dog Boat

feel good storiesThese Are The Movie Scenes People Say Are Absolutely Flawless

feel good storiesWhy Hope Is The Key To A Meaningful Life, Backed By New Research

feel good storiesJudge Waives Parking Fines So Dad Can Keep Supporting Son’s Space Dreams

feel good storiesHungry Elephant Casually Walks Into Grocery Store For Snacks In Thailand

feel good videoWoman Tries To Help Bird, Then This Happened... And We Can't Stop Laughing

feel good videoSassy Pig Throws Hilarious Tantrum, Slams Door And Gives Mom Silent Treatment

feel good videoConcerned Momma Moose Wanders Into Alaska Firehouse

feel good videoArtist Creates Mesmerizing Optical Illusion Using Just A Marker And A Spinning Wheel

feel good videoUPS Driver Joins Teenagers On Graduation Slip ’N Slide

Chris Filippou 12:17 PM (3 minutes ago) to me