Be Cranky And Miserable This Christmas!
By Amanda Chouinard • December 16, 2015
I woke up this morning and thought, what could I possibly give thanks for during this holiday season?!
Here's WHY I'm grouchy, and you should be too.
1)Snow. Here in Canada, most places get it. Lots of it! It's cold. Horrible. Don't quote me on this, but I'm sure millions end up going to the hospital for shovelled-too-much-and-broke-my-back-itis.
2) Store line ups. Isn't it infuriating to go shopping and wait in LONG line ups?!? Seriously...just a handful of cashiers for thousands of shoppers! To boot, those cashiers have the audacity to smile and be friendly regardless how many of us grouch at her! Horrible. In protest, next year I'm purposely doing all my shopping in August-take THAT missy!
3) Fake christmas trees. For all of us who abhor real trees(and their falling pine needles)...who enjoys having to pull out and arrange EVERY little branch to make it look symetrical? Horrible! If that doesn't turn you grinchy green, just thinking of untangling all those christmas light cords to find out...there's burnt bulbs! Well I found that out after HOURS...no DAYS of untangling cords! Don't get me STARTED on the mess my decorations with hooks all hooked together was!
4) Cheerful people. These types are bad enough the rest of the year...but during the holidays..they are EVERYWHERE. Don't quote me on this, but I'm sure doctors would agree this virus too-joyous-and-friendly-itis is HIGHLY contageous. There is no cure!
5)Santa. You'd think with all that christmas magic, he'd be able to poof up his own drinks and snacks. NOOOO he expects all of us parents to provide them...lay them out nicely in cups and plates...only to find out the next morning he was TOO lazy to wash the dishes!! If Santa sees all as HE claims...why didn't he see the dishwasher in the next room?! What example is he showing our kids when he also refuses to eat everything on his plate! Horrible!
6) Last but not least gifts! What thanks do I get for spending billions of hours wrapping gifts for my family? Christmas morning comes...and I am caught in the whirlwind of three kids in a frantic dash to rip open presents!! Wrapping paper is shredded into a gazillion pieces flying like a tornado around my livingroom...bows sticking to walls...Horrible! If that isn't the mess of the century...there's mom being harrassed to untwist, untie and unscrew the trillions of toys secured in bomb proof boxes! It's enough to curl the grinchiest of noses!
There you have it!!
Merry GRINCH Christmas!!
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