From Nine To Now
By Vivian Lewis • April 5, 2015
“From Nine to Now”
A shy young girl nine years old was scorned with physical and emotional sadness due to being picked on by students at school. She began to feel unequal because of her size. She then developed a lack of self worth.
After years of being bullied by her peers she felt discontent with her life. At time she felt life was not worth living. During the time of her disarray she knew her mother loved her so she tried hard to ignore the torment.
After graduation she went into her early adulthood with the same emotional dysfunction, low self-esteem and sadness. She began to meet peers on another level and thought that her life would change from sadness to happiness. She had her first child and immediately started seeing changes but not for the good. As a single mother she struggled daily trying to raise her child. Due to numerous unwise choices her struggle continued but she kept trying to move forward.
She was raised with faith and belief in God but kept allowing the enemy to trap her into major setbacks. After eights years she still remained single and she had another child thinking her children would cover up the void and pain in her life. After her second child was born she really started seeing life in a different light. She now had two children with the same drastic struggle. The young lady went to church sometimes but most of the time she only sent her children. She began to lose her mindset and energy for everything; she had little to no faith but knew she had to keep going for her children. She worked a minimum wage job, had no college education, lost her job and had to go on welfare.
After years of emotional torment and the feeling of being lost and out of control of her life, she decided she could not make it in the world alone. The devastation in her life kept her beneath her self worth. She often times looked in the mirror but could not see the beauty that God created on the outside because she was lost on the inside. All she saw was an ugly fat lowdown loser. She beat up on herself emotionally which caused her health to fade. She continued to struggle with low self-esteem and to numb her pain she would take her last money and buy junk food, it pacified her with comfort. She was so unhappy and cried all the time behind closed doors. She felt life was over for her at a young age and that even though she was raised to believe in God, her faith was faithless.
She decided she had hit rock bottom with the thought of not wanting to live anymore. She knew she loved her children and she had to stay alive for them so she fought to rise above all her negative defeats. One day she accidentally turned her television channel on a religious show and it appeared that it was being directed at her. She felt somewhat better after the show but new she still had to face the demons that hindered her everyday. She did not know how to rise above the power of the demons. She continued to watch the stations and then along with the internet. After months of listening, she started accompanying her children to church as well as renewing her faith, belief and strength but continued to live a secret life.
She lost her first child at age seventeen due to a senseless crime, lost her first house, got into an extremely bad car accident, lost her job, got put out of her apartment and because homeless. She decided she was so tired of her life like it was so she finally began to take her Christian walk more serious. After a mind altering struggle, she decided to change her thoughts, her perceptions and her friends. She gave her whole self (mind, body and soul) to God. Slowly she started elevating her wisdom, her self worth and strength. Through many days and nights of prayer she defeated the devil that continually tried to attack her mind.
She finally started seeing the light and followed it....she brought herself out of bondage.
She graduated with her Bachelors degree, started working in the education system, got off welfare, began helping others over come obstacles standing in their way.....YES.....that was me...now I'M FREE, I am no longer Trapped Within myself. I have a strong saying "If it ain't right by God, it ain't right by me". I stand boldly…so the enemy can go somewhere else!
Because of my OBEDIENCE UNTO GOD, I am now the proud AUTHOR of my first fiction action packed drama titled "TROUBLES IN MY WAY" VOLUME 1 of 12.
To God: I Give all the Glory!
Vivian D. Lewis aka **Woman with the Power Within**
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