Chuck walked up to the pearly gates and Saint Peter said, “Oh wow Mr. Norris, the big guy wants to see you immediately.”

So he gets escorted into meet God and without missing a beat Chuck says, “before we get started, I just wanna let you know you’re sitting in my chair.” 

Rest in peace Chuck Norris. In your honor...

Chuck Norris once picked an apple from an orange tree and made lemonade with it.

There are no bridges named after Chuck Norris. Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can believe it’s not butter.

There are no Chuck Norris jokes, just Chuck Norris facts.

Chuck Norris has a huge bear as a rug. It’s not dead, it’s just too afraid to move.

Chuck Norris won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer.. too bad he's never cried.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him.