Funny Clean Jokes

Risky Burial

April 09, 2013 / 20,834 views

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land,...

Where is God?

March 20, 2013 / 22,068 views

A loving couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were just terrible kids always getting in trouble. Running out of ideas, they decided to look to the church. They heard that a clergyman in town had been successful...

Strong Man Contest

March 07, 2013 / 31,872 views

A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone when it comes to pure strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workers at the job site. After several minutes of ranting,...

The Talking Frog

March 04, 2013 / 93,796 views

An 86 year-old man is out fishing. He was sitting in his boat when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up!" He looked around and did not see any one. He thought he was dreaming until he heard the voice...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson Go Camping

February 27, 2013 / 197,635 views

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson,...

The Bathtub Test for Insanity

February 22, 2013 / 36,928 views

During a visit to the local mental institute, John asked the Director during a tour how to determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "It's simple actually," said the Director. "We fill up a...

The intelligence game

February 14, 2013 / 14,404 views

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde...

An Engineer accidentally goes to Hell instead of Heaven

January 30, 2013 / 36,498 views

An Engineer dies and goes to hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor jammed, so he unjams it. People...

How to find out who your best friend is

January 25, 2013 / 12,670 views

Here is a simple 3 step method to find out who your best friend REALLY is! This method will work, but one person might be a little mad at you for a while... 3 STEP PLAN Step 1: Lock both your spouse and...

Football in Heaven

January 15, 2013 / 14,374 views

Tom and Matt were best of friends, they played football every single week for nearly 50 years. As they were getting older, they had an argument about whether people play football in heaven. So they agreed that whoever...

The 3 Day Fight

January 08, 2013 / 14,999 views

Our anniversary was coming up, so my wife was hinting about what she wanted. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds." So I bought her a scale. And then the fight...

The Amazing Pig with a Peg Leg

January 04, 2013 / 31,060 views

Two farmers, John and Henry, were sitting around talking about their day when John notices a pig with a wooden leg hobbling across the front yard. He turned to his friend and asks, "Henry, why does that pig have a wooden...

Getting into the pub with your dog

January 02, 2013 / 16,833 views

Two guys were out walking their dogs on a hot day, when they pass by a pub. Mike looks at his friend John and says “Let’s go in there for a quick drink.” John replies with, “They won’t let us...

Frog wants a loan from the bank

December 27, 2012 / 105,937 views

A frog walks into a bank and approaches the teller, whose name plate says Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $50,000 loan to take a vacation." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and...

A Pirate walked into a bar

December 24, 2012 / 16,745 views

A pirate walked into a bar and sat down for a drink. The bartender asked, "Gee you look awful, are you feeling okay?" "I feel fine, why do you ask?," said the pirate. "Well your leg...

Arguing with children can be risky

December 23, 2012 / 43,531 views

test ...

How to get free drinks at the bar

December 21, 2012 / 41,626 views

A man walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The man answers, "A scotch on the rocks, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says, "That'll be five...

Starting Salary

December 20, 2012 / 44,400 views

Reaching the end of an extensive job interview, the HR person asked a young Engineer fresh out of college, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The engineering graduate said, "In the range of $100,000 -...