Funny Clean Jokes

Excuse for Speeding

June 26, 2013 / 15,176 views

On his 60th birthday, Jeff bought himself a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great,"...

Be On Time

June 12, 2013 / 17,321 views

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner. A local politician and member of the congregation was to give a speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say a few words while they waited. "I got my...

Alligator Shoes

June 11, 2013 / 19,902 views

A young blonde was on vacation in the swamps of Louisiana. She really wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes to bring back for her boyfriend but didn't want to pay the high prices the local stores were charging. After becoming...

Awkward Restroom Chat

May 30, 2013 / 17,257 views

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?" I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom, but I don't know what got into me, so I answered,...

Highway Speed Trap

May 15, 2013 / 18,385 views

A state trooper pulled over a car going just 19 miles per hour on the highway. As the officer approached the car, he noticed it was two elderly women and they both looked very pale and wide-eyed. "Good afternoon ladies. Do you...

A Bridge to Hawaii

April 30, 2013 / 24,403 views

A biker was riding along the beach when suddenly the sky formed clouds above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "You have been very faithful to me, so I will grant you one wish." Stunned and confused, the...

Risky Burial

April 09, 2013 / 21,795 views

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land,...

Where is God?

March 20, 2013 / 23,150 views

A loving couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were just terrible kids always getting in trouble. Running out of ideas, they decided to look to the church. They heard that a clergyman in town had been successful...

Strong Man Contest

March 07, 2013 / 33,223 views

A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone when it comes to pure strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workers at the job site. After several minutes of ranting,...

The Talking Frog

March 04, 2013 / 100,245 views

An 86 year-old man is out fishing. He was sitting in his boat when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up!" He looked around and did not see any one. He thought he was dreaming until he heard the voice...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson Go Camping

February 27, 2013 / 201,994 views

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson,...

The Bathtub Test for Insanity

February 22, 2013 / 38,273 views

During a visit to the local mental institute, John asked the Director during a tour how to determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "It's simple actually," said the Director. "We fill up a...

The intelligence game

February 14, 2013 / 15,244 views

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde...

An Engineer accidentally goes to Hell instead of Heaven

January 30, 2013 / 38,031 views

An Engineer dies and goes to hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor jammed, so he unjams it. People...

How to find out who your best friend is

January 25, 2013 / 13,648 views

Here is a simple 3 step method to find out who your best friend REALLY is! This method will work, but one person might be a little mad at you for a while... 3 STEP PLAN Step 1: Lock both your spouse and...

Football in Heaven

January 15, 2013 / 15,989 views

Tom and Matt were best of friends, they played football every single week for nearly 50 years. As they were getting older, they had an argument about whether people play football in heaven. So they agreed that whoever...

The 3 Day Fight

January 08, 2013 / 16,824 views

Our anniversary was coming up, so my wife was hinting about what she wanted. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds." So I bought her a scale. And then the fight...

The Amazing Pig with a Peg Leg

January 04, 2013 / 33,176 views

Two farmers, John and Henry, were sitting around talking about their day when John notices a pig with a wooden leg hobbling across the front yard. He turned to his friend and asks, "Henry, why does that pig have a wooden...