Funny Clean Jokes

A Cop Knocked On My Door This Morning

April 07, 2015 / 18,101 views

A policeman knocked on my door this morning, but I just locked it and sat there in complete silence. After 20 seconds he knocked again, but I just continued to ignore it. The knocks got louder and more frequent but I was determined...

An 85 Year-Old Man Was Requested By His Doctor To Have A Sperm Count

April 01, 2015 / 20,126 views

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor to have a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next...

Dad Goes To The Hospital With An Injured Wrist

March 25, 2015 / 16,402 views

A father gets into a car accident and injures his wrist pretty bad. He goes to the hospital where the doctor gets him all fixed up, but before he leaves he asks the doctor: "Hey Doc, when this heals will I be able to play the...

A Man Buys Everyone In The Bar A Drink, Except For Him

March 20, 2015 / 20,405 views

A racist walks into a crowded bar. He looks around and sees a black man sat in a corner. The racist walks up to the bar, turns around and announces, "I'm going to buy everyone in this bar a free drink, except for that black guy over...

Fifty Bucks Is Fifty Bucks

March 13, 2015 / 32,453 views

Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say, "Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter." Edna always replied, "I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,...

A Young Boy Walks In A Barber Shop

March 04, 2015 / 18,841 views

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then...

Three Irishmen And Three Scots Are On A Train

February 26, 2015 / 15,291 views

Three Scots and three Irishmen are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Irishmen each buy tickets and watch as the three Scots buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one...

An American, An Indian, And A Russian Meet The Devil

February 26, 2015 / 17,586 views

An American, an Indian, and a Russian end up in Hell and plead to the Devil that they don't belong here. The Devil, bored, makes them an offer: "I will strike you 3 times with my whip, and if you survive, I'll let you go. You can...

Man Offers To Do Anything She Wants For $20

February 16, 2015 / 18,732 views

A woman is sitting at a bar enjoying a drink with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome man enters. He is so striking that the woman can not take her eyes off him. The man notices her overly attentive stares and walks...

A Man Buys A Horse For $250

February 08, 2015 / 18,021 views

A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Chucks house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse...

A Pretty Woman Sneezes At A Restaurant

January 30, 2015 / 36,305 views

At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back...

A Hotel Manager Tried To Overcharge An Elderly Couple

January 24, 2015 / 19,681 views

A married couple is traveling to visit family by car. Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to get a room. They only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the...

A Birthday To Remember

January 15, 2015 / 22,622 views

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. "I'd like to be eight...

The Old Man Outside Of A Pub Fishing

January 11, 2015 / 21,978 views

It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of an Irish pub. An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water. A curious gentleman asked what he was...

A Family Goes To The Circus

January 03, 2015 / 16,593 views

A married couple takes their son to the circus. After a while the father gets up to get some popcorn. While he is away the little boy notices something hanging down between the elephants legs. "Mommy, what is that hanging down...

Johnny And Sally Go To The Prom

December 27, 2014 / 27,695 views

So, Johnny and his girl Sally are going to prom this Saturday. But, before they can go, Johnny needs to make sure they have a perfect night. So, Friday comes, and Johnny goes out to get his tuxedo. When he gets to the tux rental...

Wrong Number

December 16, 2014 / 18,081 views

Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new Colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the Colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said...

Hillbilly Stripper

December 09, 2014 / 17,450 views

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor. He performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off...