Funny Clean Jokes

A Man Buys Everyone In The Bar A Drink, Except For Him

March 20, 2015 / 19,768 views

A racist walks into a crowded bar. He looks around and sees a black man sat in a corner. The racist walks up to the bar, turns around and announces, "I'm going to buy everyone in this bar a free drink, except for that black guy over...

Fifty Bucks Is Fifty Bucks

March 13, 2015 / 30,208 views

Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say, "Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter." Edna always replied, "I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,...

A Young Boy Walks In A Barber Shop

March 04, 2015 / 18,143 views

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then...

Three Irishmen And Three Scots Are On A Train

February 26, 2015 / 14,535 views

Three Scots and three Irishmen are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Irishmen each buy tickets and watch as the three Scots buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one...

An American, An Indian, And A Russian Meet The Devil

February 26, 2015 / 16,838 views

An American, an Indian, and a Russian end up in Hell and plead to the Devil that they don't belong here. The Devil, bored, makes them an offer: "I will strike you 3 times with my whip, and if you survive, I'll let you go. You can...

Man Offers To Do Anything She Wants For $20

February 16, 2015 / 18,085 views

A woman is sitting at a bar enjoying a drink with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome man enters. He is so striking that the woman can not take her eyes off him. The man notices her overly attentive stares and walks...

A Man Buys A Horse For $250

February 08, 2015 / 17,216 views

A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Chucks house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse...

A Pretty Woman Sneezes At A Restaurant

January 30, 2015 / 35,490 views

At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back...

A Hotel Manager Tried To Overcharge An Elderly Couple

January 24, 2015 / 18,985 views

A married couple is traveling to visit family by car. Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to get a room. They only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the...

A Birthday To Remember

January 15, 2015 / 21,850 views

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. "I'd like to be eight...

The Old Man Outside Of A Pub Fishing

January 11, 2015 / 21,187 views

It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of an Irish pub. An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water. A curious gentleman asked what he was...

A Family Goes To The Circus

January 03, 2015 / 16,017 views

A married couple takes their son to the circus. After a while the father gets up to get some popcorn. While he is away the little boy notices something hanging down between the elephants legs. "Mommy, what is that hanging down...

Johnny And Sally Go To The Prom

December 27, 2014 / 26,789 views

So, Johnny and his girl Sally are going to prom this Saturday. But, before they can go, Johnny needs to make sure they have a perfect night. So, Friday comes, and Johnny goes out to get his tuxedo. When he gets to the tux rental...

Wrong Number

December 16, 2014 / 17,486 views

Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new Colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the Colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said...

Hillbilly Stripper

December 09, 2014 / 16,845 views

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor. He performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off...

The Three Bulls

December 02, 2014 / 23,134 views

Three bulls heard that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them. First Bull: "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we settled...

Surely I Can't Look That Old

November 26, 2014 / 26,008 views

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old. My name is Mary, and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his diploma on...

The IRS Audits A Gambling Grandpa

November 19, 2014 / 148,287 views

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time...