Brighten Your Day

Back when I was 17, my parents had recently split up. My mom walked out, my sister only sibling was already in college across the country. I lived with my dad at the time, and he was the only family member I had within 1500 miles. It was Christmas Eve, my father was gradually getting worse in the ICU. I had already been dealing with him not paying bills etc. We didn’t have heat on in the house in the middle of winter....

I was a mess at the time, only having my beloved dog with me. It was about 48 degrees in our house, so her and I stayed in my bedroom where I had a space heater. I tried to OD, I drank near a 5th of whiskey, took a few Xanax and morphine. I remember crying my eyes out Xmas eve, asking for my dogs forgiveness if I didn’t wake up, and for someone, anyone to help me.

I awoke 14 hours later to my dog whimpering and nudging me. When I woke up it was the strangest feeling ive ever had, like I was meant to be here, and nothing will stop me. I’ll never tell a soul as I’m highly ashamed of considering taking the easy route out.

I spent Christmas Day alone with my dog, holding her for the majority of the day, she didn’t leave my side once during my slumber and the day. It’s like she knew something was really wrong with me.

I still have my girl to this day, I always thank her in my head for keeping me going or I would’ve woken up and attempted it again if I didn’t have her.