Brighten Your Day

A bit over a year ago my dad's health started deteriorating rapidly. he went from being a fully independent person to not being able to drive, walk or talk properly. he couldn't even think coherently, like his mind was in some other place. Last Christmas party he stayed in a dark corner all quiet and with no energy which shattered my heart like you have no idea.

In the next weeks his organs seemed to start failing and his sight was getting worse by the day. For months he just stayed in bed, not having the strength to hold the lightest thing. it was like something had sucked the life out of him completely. we did a million studies and no one was sure of what is was. independently from whatever he had, the hard truth was hitting me: my father was dying slowly in front of my eyes, my biggest fear since I was a little kid. I can't recall a year that I had cried more than this (to top it off we lost our mother in law which was very unexpected), waking up every single morning with panic attacks wondering if that was "the day he just didn't wake up". I had long hours of work with my therapist who even shared tears with me while preparing me to say good bye to my dad. For the first time I was able to truly get rid of old grudges, and give him proper hugs. I became his carer and he realized I was a responsible, caring and intelligent human being (his excessive judgments and criticism had always affected me deeply). There he was, frail, powerless and lost, and for the first time he told me he was proud of me. he doesn't know it but I got into the car and told my husband, excited like a little girl, that my dad was finally seeing me as who I was. Through being so vulnerable in this situation I became so strong, my self esteem grew so much. I became so tight with my dad and it felt wonderful despite the pain. You know? I never really gave up on him. my mum just seemed to accept the fact that "this was it". yet I would tell her to try different doctors and even alternative therapies like acupuncture and Reiki. Well something unexpected happened... my dad started getting better. he suddenly was had his energy back little by little, and he could talk more and even make jokes. he decided to do a little cooking and house chores again. it was unbelievable! two weeks ago we took him to the movies for the first time in a year (he doesn't know how thrilled I was!) and last night it was our Christmas party, a year after seeing him in corner alone and scared. Yesterday he was exactly like himself, energetic, funny and full of life. he has been like this for the past month, it is so strange but even his eyesight fully restored! We are not completely sure why he was so ill, doctors said a million things and every single one stated he wouldn't make it. Today not only am I grateful to have my dad back but I ended up believing in myself like I had never done before! I am so grateful for this life changing, humbling experience (for my dad it was too) and having more time to spend with him to keep improving our relationship. Great things can happen to you too!