All Good News

I wake up everyday to an appartment with no furniture. Much like I wake up everyday to a soul with no spirit, no hope. I mean, I've got most of what I've dreamed about as a child. I have an amazing mother that sacrificed everything she had to raise me and guide me in the right direction. Even though he wasn't around in the beginning, being that he put himself in prison at such a young age, I can say my father taught me a lot of the more, important, things about growing up and how to prepare myself when I'm out in the real world. I grew up in Las Vegas with one part of my family that seemed to grow by the invitational get togethers we had every weekend. I have the car I wanted since I first layed eyes on it, I have a job in the automotive industry that will help me repair any damages to the body, I'm going to school for automotive tech to help me maintain the internal functions, I've made one decent friend whom I can trust in the two years I've been here in Florida since I moved from Nevada.

The first year of moving to Florida was an experience my parents wouldn't be too proud of, but it definitely opened up the deeper psychedelic parts of my mind, if you catch my drift. But I used that to my advantage. Instead of enjoying the trip and wander aimlessly through a warp hole, I tried to take control over it. I may sound crazy but it's almost like I stepped inside and discovered another dimension within myself. And I don't mean a Syfy television show where you see ghosts and aliens. I mean, I feel the state of which I am. And when I say I am.. It's that feeling you have when you close your eyes, the air is still, no background noise, and you hear a subtle vibration within your head, you hear and feel bones grinding, just subtle, within your shoulders, you begin to highten your sense of self by sitting still and allowing yourself to channel different parts of your body, putting yourself in that specific location. Somewhat like in the movie Fightclub. The part of the movie where "Tyler" reads a part of the body self proclaiming the duty of that part to its host. I am Vaper's arm muscle, I flex and relax when the action is needed. You get it. Although it's a trip to discuss it with strangers, I'm not the only one who has made this "self discovery" if you will. I'm barely in tune with it and randomly seek guidance for it, but it did change me.. You see, because after this discovery within myself, Everything seems boring.. People seem annoying.. Humans seem like sheeple.. I don't have emotion for anything, I think all of my reactions to people whether engaged in a conversation or not, are staged and suits that specific moment and disappears almost as fast as the time it takes for them to look away. I could say something back to sound witty or make them chuckle, but I could seriously care less about the topic we're discussing. At that moment, all I want to do is be alone, but at the same time I enjoy the company. I don't understand. I'm still learning.

Well anyway, I could go on and on.. but I've got to lay my comforter on the ground and fold my pillow underneath my neck. It's getting really depressing sleeping in An Apartment w/ No Furniture.