Mom I’m Not Gonna Cry!
By Scrappydoo • May 5, 2015
I always used to wonder why Indian brides cry so much at the end of their marriage ceremony when they are about to start a new phase of life.
According to the Indian tradition, ‘Bidaai’ as it is called, is the last part of the marriage ceremony which signifies that a girl is supposed to leave her parent’s home to move in with the in-laws and take up the responsibilities of her new home. This can be quite an overwhelming moment for the bride but whenever I used to see my friends or cousins crying, I never could understand. Instead I always felt how embarrassing it is to cry in front of everyone.
And then came the moment when I felt it myself. I got married go to my husband last year. Before the wedding my Mom and Dad always used to ask me in a light-hearted manner “Will you cry too? Are you gonna miss us?” And me being the tough girl, I used to say “Mom, of course I am gonna miss you guys. But that does not mean I will cry in front of all our and his relatives! Not even the slightest chance”.
The D-day arrived and the ceremony was grandly celebrated.
And then came the moment of truth.
While leaving I could feel all the years that I spent with my parents come alive and I felt like a child going to school on the very first day. I did not want to leave my mom and dad. When I finished my graduation, I had found a new friend in my mom. I thought about all those moments we spent together. Our week-end movies, impromptu ice-cream parlor visits, our shopping sprees, evening walks to the vegetable market when I was back from office, chatting about my colleagues, friends, relatives. God I was gonna miss them dearly!. The very thought that I would not be able to see them every day made my eyes moist and them came those dreaded tears trickling down my cheeks. I hugged my mom and dad tightly and never wanted to let go.
At that moment, not once did I think about who was watching me cry. I was least bothered. All that mattered to me was the moment.
Its funny how we always take our parents for granted and at some point even feel that we are better off without them. We fight with them for the silliest reasons on earth. I wanted to tell them how sorry I was for all the mistakes I had made in life and how thankful I was to them for supporting me and holding my hand at each and every moment. But no words came out of my mouth. Just tears. I guess they could understand what I was trying to say.
I now understand why all those girls shed tears during ‘Bidaai’ and when any of my 20 something acquaintances cracks up at the thought of crying during a wedding ceremony, I simply manage a smile and mutter under my breath “Your day will come my friend!”
Love you Mom and Dad for your unconditional love.
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