Beating The Odds

By Petak • March 4, 2015

This story is to tell people that you CAN beat the odds and you CAN make your life better. I was born into an air force family. I am the youngest of 5. I have 3 older sisters and 1 older brother. My parents met through one sister, who was friends with my other sisters in school. Thus, my parents met, fell in love, got married and had me. Somewhere along the way, things went wrong and they were divorced by the time I was 7. My father had left the air force by then, so our living situation wasn't as good as it was before. It was a nasty custody battle for me to say the least, and my mother won. What followed was years of mental abuse. My mother always thought the worst of me, and treated me as her own personal slave. By that time, the two sisters that did live with us had moved out of state at ages 15 and 16, so it was my brother and I with our mother. My brother being 7 years older, the closest sibling to my age, was a teenager at the time and going through some things of his own. That left me with my mother. She started an at home daycare a few years after words, and left me with the responsibility of taking care of her charges when I wasn't at school or doing homework. I was also made to take her charges to school when I was home sick. Fast forward to age 16- My older sister, the one who left at age 15, gets married. We fly down to her state to attend the wedding. It was beautiful to say the least. For her honeymoon, her and her new husband were to drive up to start a new life together, with my sisters 2 children. We all lived in a big house together. Then my sister got divorced a couple short years later. That's when things got worse. I was traded like a slave to my sister in exchange of my mother living there and keeping her daycare there as well. Needless to say, the mental abuse worsened and I was also responsible for cooking and cleaning the whole two story, 5 bedroom home, on top of school work. At age 17, I had had enough. I ran off to live with my significant other at the time, who is 6 years older. Things worked out amazingly for the first 3 years out of an 8 year relationship. After that, more mental abuse, and as hard as I tried to get away, I just kept getting pulled back in with broken promises to better themselves. That went on for years. I worked myself to the bone to provide for both of us, while they frivolously spent my wages on themselves. Later, I met this friend of my companions, and he saw most likely what everyone else saw, but he did something no one had done for me before. He asked ME how things were going between us. The fact that he asked me, and not my companion is what started to open my eyes. We had not had much of a chance to get to know each other before, but we did after that. I had finally felt like someone actually cared about me, and not what lies were spread about me, which were quite a lot. We talked a lot after that over text, due to my overbearing companion. I got to learn things about him, and he learned a lot of me. There was a spark that neither one of us wanted to acknowledge given the situation at that time. That man gave me the strength to finally break free of this long chain of pain and broken promises. We started a relationship not long after that. He encouraged me like no other, took care of me like no other, and helped me to realize that everything I was put through, all the things that I was told was my fault, really wasn't. We moved in together less then a year into our relationship. Just months, those who knew me before could see an amazing change in me. I was more open, I laughed, I socialized. I had become a different person. I am transformed to say the least. I also landed a good job. Nothing like the low level customer service jobs I had to settle with. I finally got the opportunity to get a GOOD job. Now, at age 27, 2 years after my current companion rescued me with his encouraging words, I am now working in the field of work I have ALWAYS wanted to be in. I make good money too. Not only that, I am stronger now then I have ever been, all because of one persons words. All because of that one person who couldn't keep his silence any longer. That person who saw what I was being put through, and wasn't afraid of asking. I had tried for so many years to change things for myself, but couldn't because of the extensive mental abuse I had suffered for almost 20 years. Now, I am a transformed person. I no longer sit meekly as people insult me, or try to control me. There is, however, no question that after everything, I still have some issues I still need to work out, but my companion, my savior is helping me through every step of the way and I do still have so much to learn. The moral of this story is you CAN change things for the better, even if it is getting away from someone abusive. Never give up who you are because someone is trying to beat you down. Stand strong with your head high. Reach out that hand for help. Unless you do, no one will grab it and help you out of that hole. I am offering to be that hand that grabs you and helps you. I want to help, not because I think its my "duty" but because I know how much that little help can be. I can be reached via email at Don't be afraid to ask for help. That's the best 1st step anyone can take.


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