10 Things Men Do Differently Than Women. #5 Is Priceless!

June 6, 2014

In our modern society, our humanity unites us more than our gender divides us. But that doesn't mean men and women always think alike.

So let's have a little fun with it...

1. NICKNAMES

If Laura, Sarah, and Kate go out for lunch... they will call each other Laura, Sarah, and Kate.

If Mike, Dave, and John go out for lunch they will affectionately refer to each other as dickhead, d-bag, and $#@*!.

2. EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20 even though it's only for $32.50. None will have anything smaller and none will admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bills, they will bring out their phone calculators.

3. MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she does not need, but it's on sale.

4. BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom. A toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, soap, shampoo and towel.

The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man can only identify 20 of these.

5. ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

6. FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she has a husband.

A man doesn't worry about the future until he gets a wife.

7. SUCCESS

A successful man is one that makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

8. MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change but she does.

9. DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, workout, read a book and go to the mall.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

10. CHILDREN

A woman knows everything about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.