The Human-like Gorilla
September 23, 2014 / 2,503 views
A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable. However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they cannot afford to go a day without it....
There Was A Shipwreck, And Only Scarlett Johansson And Some Random Guy Survived On A Deserted Island
September 17, 2014 / 3,975 views
They didn't know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was. At the beginning it was hard, but as time passed, this guy learnt how to provide food and shelter, he started taking care of her, and eventually she...
A Husband And Wife Go To Counseling After 30 Years Of Marriage
September 09, 2014 / 8,534 views
After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect,...
A Blind Man Sits At A Bar, Wants To Tell A Blonde Joke
September 04, 2014 / 10,706 views
A blind man sits down at the bar and figures he'll break the ice with the bartender by asking "Wanna hear a blond joke?" In a hushed voice, a man beside him says "Before you tell that joke, you should know our...
A Woman Is Cooking Eggs In The Kitchen When Her Husband Comes Running In
August 25, 2014 / 15,820 views
A woman is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband comes running in. Immediately, he sees the eggs and gasps in horror. "Be careful! CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh, my GOSH!" The wife, startled at her...
A Fire Started In A Chemical Plant
August 18, 2014 / 10,300 views
One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and before you could snap your fingers it exploded into flames and the alarm went out to the volunteer fire departments from miles around. When the...
The 80 Year-Old Man And His Beautiful Young Bride
August 13, 2014 / 16,356 views
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup, and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got a 20 year old bride who's pregnant, and having my...
An Old Couple Is Having Trouble Remembering Things
August 06, 2014 / 16,197 views
A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that...
Getting Married In Heaven
July 29, 2014 / 14,135 views
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could...
Jack Wakes Up With A Huge Hangover And A Happy Wife
July 24, 2014 / 16,413 views
A married man, Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after a night out drinking with the boys. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself...
A Man Wakes Up One Morning To Find A Gorilla On His Roof
July 14, 2014 / 17,767 views
So he looks up the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers". He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he"ll be there in 30 minutes. The gorilla remover arrives and gets out of...
An Old Jewish Man On His Death Bed Says To His Wife...
July 09, 2014 / 16,107 views
On his death bed, an old Jewish man says to his wife... "Oh, Sarah, when the shop burned down you were right beside me, no?" "Sure I was Moshe," his wife replied. "When the Nazis drove...
Man In Ecstasy
July 02, 2014 / 15,715 views
He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth...in and out...in and out. It was going on for 10 minutes at this...
Young Investment Banker Buys The Car Of His Dreams
June 21, 2014 / 19,977 views
A young investment banker goes out and buys the car of his dreams - a brand new Ferrari GTO. After paying $500,000, he takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. While waiting for the light to change, an frail looking old man on a...
A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan
June 12, 2014 / 26,601 views
A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan. The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?" The woman says, "Yes, of...
Three Men Are Standing At The Pearly Gates
June 06, 2014 / 23,572 views
St. Peter tells them, "As you all know God has a sense of humor and his latest idea is to put the Kingdom of Heaven several hundred miles from the Pearly Gates." "How is that supposed to be funny?" one guy...
What To Do With 5 Penguins In The Car
May 29, 2014 / 23,907 views
A man drives into a gas station. The attendant goes to fill his tank and notices 5 penguins in the back seat. The attendant says, "Hey - why do you have 5 penguins in your car?" The driver says, "I KNOW! I was just...
A Duck Walks Into A Bar
May 20, 2014 / 28,383 views
A duck walks into a bar around lunchtime, sits down and orders a beer and a sandwich. The bartender looks at him and says, "Oh my God, a talking duck! What are you doing here?" The duck replies, "I'm...
A Russian And An Irish Wrestler Square Off
May 13, 2014 / 17,055 views
A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal. Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian....
Newlywed Woman In Her 90s Is Interviewed
May 07, 2014 / 29,928 views
There was a lady in her 90s who became a sort of local celebrity because she had recently gotten married. The local news station decided to interview her. The interviewer asked questions like how it was to be a newlywed in her...
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