A Man Wakes Up One Morning To Find A Gorilla On His Roof
July 14, 2014 / 3,735 views
So he looks up the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers". He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he"ll be there in 30 minutes. The gorilla remover arrives and gets out of...
An Old Jewish Man On His Death Bed Says To His Wife...
July 09, 2014 / 4,427 views
On his death bed, an old Jewish man says to his wife... "Oh, Sarah, when the shop burned down you were right beside me, no?" "Sure I was Moshe," his wife replied. "When the Nazis drove...
Man In Ecstasy
July 02, 2014 / 5,634 views
He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth...in and out...in and out. It was going on for 10 minutes at this...
Young Investment Banker Buys The Car Of His Dreams
June 21, 2014 / 10,119 views
A young investment banker goes out and buys the car of his dreams - a brand new Ferrari GTO. After paying $500,000, he takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. While waiting for the light to change, an frail looking old man on a...
A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan
June 12, 2014 / 15,106 views
A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan. The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?" The woman says, "Yes, of...
Three Men Are Standing At The Pearly Gates
June 06, 2014 / 13,403 views
St. Peter tells them, "As you all know God has a sense of humor and his latest idea is to put the Kingdom of Heaven several hundred miles from the Pearly Gates." "How is that supposed to be funny?" one guy...
What To Do With 5 Penguins In The Car
May 29, 2014 / 14,243 views
A man drives into a gas station. The attendant goes to fill his tank and notices 5 penguins in the back seat. The attendant says, "Hey - why do you have 5 penguins in your car?" The driver says, "I KNOW! I was just...
A Duck Walks Into A Bar
May 20, 2014 / 18,634 views
A duck walks into a bar around lunchtime, sits down and orders a beer and a sandwich. The bartender looks at him and says, "Oh my God, a talking duck! What are you doing here?" The duck replies, "I'm...
A Russian And An Irish Wrestler Square Off
May 13, 2014 / 10,288 views
A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal. Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian....
Newlywed Woman In Her 90s Is Interviewed
May 07, 2014 / 16,406 views
There was a lady in her 90s who became a sort of local celebrity because she had recently gotten married. The local news station decided to interview her. The interviewer asked questions like how it was to be a newlywed in her...
A Bank Robber Forgot His Mask
April 29, 2014 / 19,153 views
A bank robber wanted to keep his identity a secret, but he forgot to bring his mask. He told everyone in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them. One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the bank robber did what...
A Rich Woman And Her Butler
April 21, 2014 / 18,293 views
A rich couple was going out for the evening. The lady of the house decided to give the butler, Throckmorton, the night off. She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his evening. As it turned out, the...
Two Guys Are Hunting In The Woods
April 09, 2014 / 20,683 views
One of them spots a hole in the ground that looks unusually deep. He picks up a rock and throws it in the hole, and never hears it hit the bottom. "Try something heavier", the other man suggests. They find a rusty old...
The Magic Elevator
April 01, 2014 / 19,659 views
A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, "What's this,...
Selling War Insurance
March 25, 2014 / 10,092 views
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a...
A Farmer And His Watermelons
March 19, 2014 / 17,658 views
A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So...
God Asks Adam To Do Something
March 16, 2014 / 17,473 views
God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me." Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?" God said, "Go down into that valley." Adam said, "What's a...
With Age Comes Wisdom
March 06, 2014 / 18,120 views
A balding, white haired man from Chebacco Lake in Florida, walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his...
A Lawyer Just Bought A New Sports Car
February 28, 2014 / 15,623 views
One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver's side door with him standing right...
Getting A Hair Dryer Through Customs
February 21, 2014 / 21,554 views
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?" "Of course. What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair...
Things You Can't Do When You're Not A Toddler. I Can't Stop Laughing!
People In Costumes Falling At Disneyland. LOL!
Theme Park Ride Drops You 100 Feet With Nothing But A Net To Catch You... OMG!
Husband Shocks His Wife With A Very Unique Spreadsheet
Can You Read Ticketmaster? Apparently They've Created A New Language... And Told Nobody
10 Mesmerizing Science GIFs That Will Leave Your Jaw On The Floor
This Mom Perfectly Explains Why She Does Not Teach Her Kids To Share
The 5 Happiest Cities In America Are In One State
Tom Petty Says 'No One's Got Christ More Wrong Than The Christians'
Man Cures His Returning Cancer With Homemade Cannabis Oil Pills
Someone Is Opening A Real-Life Krusty Krab Restaurant From SpongeBob SquarePants