Funny Clean Jokes

Italian Worker Has To Pass A Math Test
June 25, 2025 / 559 views
An Italian workman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number...

A Doctor And A Lawyer Are Having Lunch At A Local Diner
May 07, 2025 / 2,629 views
A woman interrupts their conversation to ask the doctor some sort of medical advice. The doctor tells her what he can then sends her on her way, then turns back to the lawyer. “Man, I get so tired of people bugging me for...

A Blonde And A Lawyer Are Seated Next To Each Other On A Flight
March 17, 2025 / 4,682 views
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to...

A Dog Asks For A Job
February 20, 2025 / 4,804 views
A dog walks into an employment agency and, in perfect English, says, "Excuse me, I need a job." The receptionist, stunned, replies, "Wait a second… you're a talking dog?! This is incredible! With a talent...

A Blonde Is Overweight, So The Doctor Puts Her On A Diet
January 10, 2025 / 5,922 views
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks," the doctor said. "The next time I see you, you’ll...

A Man With No Arms Asks To Ring The Steeple Bell
November 15, 2024 / 8,303 views
A priest is in his church, placing prayer books among the pews when a man with no arms walks inside. The priest say, "Can I help you my son?" The man says,...

Superman's Dog
October 31, 2024 / 7,233 views
Superman calls to Lois Lane, "Lois, come in here for a second! I want you to see something." Lois hurries into the room and says, "What is it?" Superman points across the room at their dog, whom he has...

Greatest Invention Ever
September 20, 2024 / 9,109 views
So this TV station reporter was interviewing a 103 year old guy known as the "oldest person in the County". Among other things, she asked him what he thought was the "Greatest Invention" of his lifetime. He says,...

My Son Came Home From School Today And Asked Me
August 16, 2024 / 9,622 views
"Dad, what kind of mouse can walk on 2 legs?" "Hmm, I don't know," I replied. "Mickey Mouse!" he replied, laughing. "Dad, what kind of duck can walk on 2 legs?" he...

A Blonde, A Redhead And A Brunette Are Having Lunch Together
July 11, 2024 / 10,695 views
The brunette opens her lunchbox and sighs: "My husband is so kind, he prepares my lunch every day but... Again a tuna sandwich?" The redhead opens hers and sighs too: "Crap, tuna sandwich for me too......

A Priest, A Pastor, And A Rabbit Walk Into A Blood Donation Clinic
June 03, 2024 / 13,563 views
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic. The nurse greeted them warmly and asked the priest, "What is your blood type, Father?" The priest replied, "I am a type...

Abe And Lucy Are Flying To Australia For A Two Week Vacation To Celebrate Their 40th Anniversary
April 23, 2024 / 13,574 views
Abe and lucy are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news....

A Man Is Dying In The Hospital
February 21, 2024 / 14,561 views
He's surrounded by his two sons, his daughter, his wife, and a nurse. He turns to his family and says: "Peter, my eldest, I leave you the villas in Beverly Hills. Samantha, my beautiful daughter, to you I give the...

Asking A 100-Year-Old Man For His Health Secrets
January 05, 2024 / 16,040 views
Everyone asked a 100-year-old man and his 98-year-old wife for their health secrets. The old man said, "I'll tell you my secret. I've been married for 75 years. I promised my wife when we got married that when we...

A Pencil Can't Catch A Break
November 30, 2023 / 14,457 views
Once upon a time, there was a pencil who couldn't catch a break. No matter how hard it tried, it kept rolling off the desk. Over and over again it would find itself on the dirty floor. Frustrated, the pencil turned to...

A Girl And A Boy Are Locked Out Of Their House
October 12, 2023 / 15,819 views
A sister and brother are locked out of their house. They can't find any way in, so the girl leans forward and starts talking to the front door lock. "Hey door lock you're looking nice today, why don't you...

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by...
August 08, 2023 / 18,003 views
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cab driver says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." Passenger: "Who?" Cab Driver: "Frank...

Three Boys Go Into A Haunted House
June 20, 2023 / 19,631 views
Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun, and one brought nothing but a few cough drops. They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly,...
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