The Guilt
By cloe mendoza gerona • June 11, 2016
I was broken hearted that time when my whole demeanor changed. I was being nasty to any guy I encountered with. They branded me some bad words, but I don't even care that time because I was generalizing every guy I met. I am thinking that all of them are the same and that they will hurt me. I assume that all of them are like the guy who once I loved but broke me into pieces. I was blinded by the hurt and anger that overflows my heart. Everytime they make small talk it infuriates me much. I like the way they cursed me for being nasty and naughty. I love the way how their anger shows.
One time, a stranger approached me and frankly spoke to me about my attitude towards them. He told me that he can see through my eyes that this wasn't me and I am not myself. He can see that I was trying hard to be too nasty to any guy I met. He told me that I am generalizing all of them. He told me to stop this nonsense all at once because it is unhealthy and it will lengthen the healing process in my heart. I admit it's true though, but I need this nastiness to avoid hurt, but one sentence reverberates my mind ...
"Stop being bad to those who are good to you." -- said He
When I heard this from him, I was totally dumbfounded. He has been just a stranger but he was like teaching and correcting me the things that I am doing differently. I was just amazed, how he came to know about me and that very moment, I cried. After those hard cry, I was enlightened that I need to fix things for myself. I don't need to implicate other people about what happen to me and my Ex and I don't need to be nasty to them no matter how I was badly hurt.
I was guilty for all this nastiness I've done to all those guys I met. Yes, that wasn't me and all of it was a so-called defense mechanism. However, now, I've come to realize that God uses some instrument to make me realize something that is detrimental to my healing. I need not to be bitter, but be better.
Dogs Are Forced To Wear The Things They Steal — And It’s Hilarious
Meet Nazgul: The Dog Who Crashed An Olympic Ski Race And Nearly Won
Bill Murray Says This Painting 'Saved His Life' — And It Still Inspires Visitors Today
Professor Watches His Student Compete At The Olympics After She Requested An Extension On An Assignment
He Lost Everything And Had To Give Up His Dog — Then Strangers Brought Her Back Home
10 Powerful Inventions Where Helping Others Came Before Profit
James Van Der Beek Has Passed. But What He Said Before He Died, We All Need To Hear
Snowplow Driver Spots Two Boys Shoveling — Then Reverses To Help
He Ordered A Doctor Bag — But The Size Has Him Laughing Uncontrollably
Woman Stunned By Valuation Of Rare Māori Jade Hei-Tiki Found In Her Garden
Mom Red Fox Calls Her Adorable Pups Out For The First Time
