Brighten Your Day

Almost exactly a year ago, I thought my previous relationship was over. After months of crippling anxiety and depression, my partner of 3.5 years finally let me know he'd had enough. I was devastated, I was broken. After about 48 hours, we reconciled, each vowing to do better for each other in the future.

In the months that followed, I was stagnant in a constant state of fear and uncertainty that he would decide to leave again. How could I prove to him that I was still the girl he fell in love with when we were kids? How could I get him to be the type of partner and man that I knew he had the potential to be?

I lied to myself during those months. I continued to believe that we needed each other so desperately that we just had to make it work. A year ago, it was unfathomable to me that I could get through a day, a week, a month without his constant presence, no matter how disengaged and disingenuous it seemed. I knew with certainty that, with how difficult and overwhelming my life had become, I couldn't make it without him.

A year later....guess what? I was wrong.

Our relationship finally ended in January of this year. Since letting go of my fear of being alone, my fear of losing the only true loving relationship I've known, I have grown so much closer to the type of adult I want to be. I'm healthier, happier, and more driven towards finding success in all areas of my life now. I want it all--I want a rewarding career, supportive social relationships, and stupid, crazy, love. And for the first time in years, all of those things seem within reach.

If you told me these things a year ago, I wouldn't have believed you. I would have told you that I was lacking--in confidence, in drive, in ability to be a partner to another person without being a burden.

My advice to you--to all of you, whether my story speaks to you or not: when you're going through hell, keep going. I did, and I'm now a stronger and more complete person than I ever imagined I could become...all of this, after one short year. Imagine what you could do with the rest of your life.