The Entire 'Star Wars' Series Released As One Book, Written By Dr. Seuss
May 18, 2016
What if Dr. Seuss had written the entire Star Wars series, all 7 movies, in one book? It would go like this...
Illustration by: DrFaustusAU
A long time ago, and so far far away,
There was a rebellion in space, so they say!
That old Evil Empire was up to no good
They kidnapped a princess, you knew that they would!
And then with the might only money can buy,
They set out to make a Death Star, in the sky!
That dastardly Emperor!
That Scoundrel! That Fiend!
Could nobody stop him? Would no one intervene?
But the princess was crafty - and with luck she escaped!
SHE wasn't held back by a bit of a scrape!
Though she didn't get far, she did get far enough
And she sent out a droid with a message - times were rough!
Though she knew that her plan had no chance of success,
It was all she could do - A New Hope, for the rest
And as luck would have it, her plans met with a teen
They flew all the way down to the planet, Tatooine!
When Luke picked them up, he had no way to tell
That this was the start of his personal hell
He went to a master - a man named Old Ben
And in fear for his family, he went home again!
But when he arrived, he found they all died
So with nothing to hold him, to the stars he did fly!
Soon they met with a smuggler, a man named Solo
He said he could take them where they had to go!
But while flying along on their journey to space
Old Obi Wan feels something - pain across his face!
"I sense a disturbance" He said with no doubt
"As if hundreds of people had suddenly cried out
And then they were silent - I do not like this"
Luke looked on in horror, he knew something's amiss
"Wait, that's no moon! It's a space station!" he said with a hiss!
Before they knew it, and before they could react
They were suddenly captured - they were under attack!
Though they managed to hide, in the smuggler's den
They had no way to escape - they were trapped in a pen!
"I'll disable the beam, you distract the guards
I have unfinished business aboard this Death Star"
Old Ben was Kenobi, a Jedi Knight supreme
And he could feel Vader on board, like a dream
They fought and they ran, sneaking between the guards
It seemed that victory was here - luck in their cards!
And with the princess they managed to escape
"But wait, that was too easy - it had to be fake!"
"Too easy - you're joking, that was incredibly hard!
And Old Ben got killed! Our victory's marred!
Despite her objections, they went on their way
Down to the rebel base, to enter the fray!
But Leia was right - it had been a trap!
The were tracked to the base! The rebellion was scrap!
"If we don't hurry, soon they'll kill us all!
But look at these plans - we can blow up that ball!
We'll need pilots with skill, we'll need pilots with grace
To fire proton torpedoes, right here, at this place!
This mission is hard - without doubt, some will die
But it is our only hope - so fly pilots, fly!"
And so Luke joined their ranks, and he jumped in a ship
To fly down a trench - pray a wing doesn't clip!
And though many were killed - in fact, most happened to die
Luke made it to the end - and his torpedoes did fly!
He shot without computer, Someone said "Use the Force!"
And with that mysterious power, he struck at the source!
With luck and with skill, sacrifice and Hope,
The Death Star exploded - Luke's a hero! Don't mope!
From farm boy to Jedi, an unknown to the best
Luke's journey wasn't over - it's just the start of his quest!
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