Funny Clean Jokes

A Blonde, A Redhead And A Brunette Are Having Lunch Together

July 11, 2024 / 27,173 views

The brunette opens her lunchbox and sighs: "My husband is so kind, he prepares my lunch every day but... Again a tuna sandwich?" The redhead opens hers and sighs too: "Crap, tuna sandwich for me too......

A Priest, A Pastor, And A Rabbit Walk Into A Blood Donation Clinic

June 03, 2024 / 32,781 views

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic. The nurse greeted them warmly and asked the priest, "What is your blood type, Father?" The priest replied, "I am a type...

Abe And Lucy Are Flying To Australia For A Two Week Vacation To Celebrate Their 40th Anniversary

April 23, 2024 / 28,564 views

Abe and lucy are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news....

A Man Is Dying In The Hospital

February 21, 2024 / 30,667 views

He's surrounded by his two sons, his daughter, his wife, and a nurse. He turns to his family and says: "Peter, my eldest, I leave you the villas in Beverly Hills. Samantha, my beautiful daughter, to you I give the...

Asking A 100-Year-Old Man For His Health Secrets

January 05, 2024 / 31,972 views

Everyone asked a 100-year-old man and his 98-year-old wife for their health secrets. The old man said, "I'll tell you my secret. I've been married for 75 years. I promised my wife when we got married that when we...

A Pencil Can't Catch A Break

November 30, 2023 / 28,651 views

Once upon a time, there was a pencil who couldn't catch a break. No matter how hard it tried, it kept rolling off the desk. Over and over again it would find itself on the dirty floor. Frustrated, the pencil turned to...

A Girl And A Boy Are Locked Out Of Their House

October 12, 2023 / 30,613 views

A sister and brother are locked out of their house. They can't find any way in, so the girl leans forward and starts talking to the front door lock. "Hey door lock you're looking nice today, why don't you...

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by...

August 08, 2023 / 39,046 views

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cab driver says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." Passenger: "Who?" Cab Driver: "Frank...

Three Boys Go Into A Haunted House

June 20, 2023 / 36,532 views

Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun, and one brought nothing but a few cough drops. They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly,...

A Husband Was Met At The Door By His Sobbing Wife

April 10, 2023 / 38,628 views

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. She explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the...

A Woman Was 3 Months Pregnant When She Fell Into A Deep Coma

February 09, 2023 / 63,403 views

A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months. The woman asked the doctor about her baby. Doctor: "You had twins, a boy and a girl. They’re both fine. And, your...

Everyone Asked A 100-Year-Old Man And His 98-Year-Old Wife For Their Health Secrets

January 23, 2023 / 32,146 views

The old man said: "I'll tell you my secret. I've been married for 75 years. I promised my wife when we got married that when we quarrel, the loser has to walk for 5 kilometres. So I've been walking 5 kilometres...

A Woman Has Twin Boys And Gives Them Up For Adoption

December 08, 2022 / 33,065 views

The first goes to a family in Egypt, which names him Ahmal. The second goes to a family in Spain, which names him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Excited at receiving the...

My Favorite Vampire

October 11, 2022 / 36,860 views

My wife asked me who my favorite vampire is. I replied, "The one from Sesame Street." She said, "He doesn't count." I replied, "Oh I assure you, he...

The Husband Super Store

September 12, 2022 / 34,326 views

Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from many men. It was laid out over five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was, once you...

Finally, A Blonde Joke I Haven't Heard Before…

June 20, 2022 / 41,397 views

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16-year-olds. She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun kicking a ball. She takes pity on him...

On The First Day, God Created The Dog...

May 24, 2022 / 95,551 views

God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of 20 years." The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only...

As A Butcher Is Shooing Away A Dog From His Shop, He Sees A $10 Bill And A Note In His Mouth

April 13, 2022 / 41,550 views

As a butcher is shooing away a dog from his shop, he sees a $10 bill and a note in his mouth, reading: "5 lamb chops, please." Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the...