She Catches Her Husband Cheating, And Then He Says This
July 13, 2015
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive woman.
"You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me – faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce!"
And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
And the husband began: "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same."
The husband took a quick breath and continued – "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please … do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'"
All Jokes Previous Joke Next Joke
Click Here For The Most Popular On Sunny Skyz
Cockatiel Keeps Owner Awake With Earth, Wind & Fire Performance
Meet Bruce: The Mysterious Cat With A Unique Coat
The Cat At This AirBnB Leads Guests On Memorable Hikes Along The Appalachian Trail
Woman Announces Her Passing On LinkedIn, Her Message Is Spreading Far And Wide
The World's Most Expensive Cow Sells For Over $4 Million
Mom Asks For Help After Husband Suggests The 'Worst Name Ever' For First Child
Teddy Has Had Enough! Baby Has Hilarious Reaction To 'Happy Birthday' Song
Simon & Garfunkel Sing 'Baby Got Back' Instead Of 'Sound Of Silence' In Hilarious Mashup
Wild Crow Becomes Little Boy's Self-Appointed Godfather
Mom Knows Best: Baby Bever Tries To Swim, Gets Sent Back To His Room
Dad With Triplets Conquers Home Depot