Back On Track

By Shakti • January 28, 2015

As a teenager of the eighties, I always admired the U.S.A.

As a matter of fact, I could never understand that anyone in Europe would want to stay in these old fashioned countries with hundreds of languages, nobody understands, and NOT move to the United States. Everything from the U.S. seemed so fresh and easy and fun. When I tried to make my parents celebrate Thanksgiving, I only got a blank look and 4th of July was just another day.

I had to take my enthusiasm to school, where I wrote reports about the "War of Independence", "Abraham Lincoln" and "Immigration to New York City".

Then, with graduation and older age, I learned about trivialities like "residence permit", "work permit", "green card", connected with "just crossing the lake". And, well, the U.S. are not as "free" and easy-going as I had seen them and, gradually, I seemed to loose my unconditional admiration and love for this country. Instead of crossing the Atlantic Ocean, I moved to the East and studied Sanskrit and spent some time in Madras, in the South of the Indian Subcontinent. There, I had great experiences with several gurus and teachers from all over the world.

Until I met Philip. He came straight from Brooklyn, just here, to this ashram, to me, in front of my nose, just to make me feel bad and almost guilty and craving again. Like a giant monsoon wave, all my feelings for America came back. The door in my heart, that was shut tightly for almost twenty years, broke wide open and I remembered, how much I had adored this continent. I fell hopelessly in love with Phil, just to realise that, in fact, he just remembered me of the old love, I had carried with me all times.

Some more years passed and I lived back again in my hometown, in the Western part of Austria. Happily, studying Computer Science, I now spend a lot of time in the internet, with access to all the great things that come from 'over the ocean'. The bad things, I just don't choose. I know for sure, soon, like really soon, I will make it to the U.S., somehow. I now know what, exactly, I admire - it is this blunt enthusiasm for whatever lies ahead, this lack of the burden of hundreds of years of history and wrangling around. There never has been, and there never will be, another phenomenon like the United States of America. And I would not want to miss them.


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